The Wait at a new level

This wait for me has come and gone in waves of nerves, worry, relief, uncertainty, and now finally a window of hope. Hope of seeing my daughter soon and know her, hope of reaching the end of this part of our journey to start on a new road. However it seems that the wait is at a different level for me right now also in respect to Oh My Gosh This is Going to Happen Soon. So here I am having already been waiting for Miah 19 months (5 months for paper work counts as part of my wait and 14 months since LID) and now I feel like I have not gotten anything done. The key word here is FEEL, because in all honestly I have most every thing done, the nursery is ready, she has clothes to grow into or out of, we have a packing list ready and almost every thing purchased for it. We have a plan for the call, a plan for packing, a plan for time off work and a plan on how to get to and from the airport. We have all our shots, passports and paperwork ready ( with the exception of the renewed 171 but that is in process now) and we have made arrangements for our animals too. So why do I feel so undone and frazzled? Maybe it is just reality setting in and I am finally getting the joy of bring our daughter home soon instead of the dread of another bad month of referrals not meeting our expectations. I know that we will get our referral in the next 3 to 7 weeks (WOW) and I can finally breath. James asked me today why they keep changing when he can get his sister and I got to tell him that mommy was sure she would be home by March, that felt good! Today I am finally going to go register at babies r us and I am sooooo looking forward to that. Not that I NEED much but there are several little things I would LIKE to have and since James is five now I have given almost every thing of his babyhood away. Ok I am rambling now so I will bring this post to an end. I am almost there the finish line is in sight.