It is that time of year again, when every thing in my home comes down and is replaced with something merry and bright. I love to decorate for the holidays and this year was no exception even with one case of respitory infection (ME) and Strep throat (JAMES) and lots of sickness. We turned on the Christmas music and got to work and now my home looks holiday festive. I am glad we did all the work because we had an impromptu to social worker meeting in order to get our 171 redone and I felt much more confident when she came into our home this time. It was really neat because we realized it had been nearly a year and a half since her last visit and James has changed so much in that time. Not to mention we now have a nursery all set up and a closet full of clothes that she ohhhed and awwwed over. Every thing went well and it was more like a social call than a social
visit.

Here is my yearly job.... Putting that darned old tree together. I tears my hands up every year but it must be done. It is funny every year Randy tells me he wants a real tree and every year I am still stuck putting this thing up. Oh well it is worth it in the end!
Here is James in all his glory. Sick, sick, sick. Poor guy fell asleep right here in this spot. I went outside to check on Randy putting on the house lights and came back in to one fast asleep little boy.

I do not care how many pictures I take of this tree they never turn out the way I want. Believe it or not this tree does look much better in real life, but I guess you will just haft to take my word for it.

Happy start of the Christmas season.... May it bring you all the joys you could ever wish for. I am wishing to see my Miahs face........... We shall see what it brings.

I was playing around today and thought I would post updated look at the nursery. Enjoy!
This is the Lambs and Ivy set Sweet as a Daisy.
Her collation of dolls and toys has really grown over the last twenty months of waiting.

The clothes on the doors are what we plan on taking to China.... If they are the right size that is.
I love the lamps in the corner, I found them at target and they match perfectly!
In keeping with my thought on THINK PINK!

The Fog

There is a fog in my home, and no it is not due to any burning holiday meal. It is the fog of not knowing, yeah I know nothing new, or is it. There is a wonderful rumor floating around that just maybe we will see most if not all of Sept. Included in this batch of referrals. On top of that our agency sent out a message to us that CCAA has started matching. We have never gotten that notice before because we have never been close enough to our LID. That was pretty darn exciting, but they are NOT saying we are included or even so much as hinting that we might at this point. So there in lies my dilemma, do I leap up and down for joy over the rumors or do I remain as somber as my agency?? Thus the fog in my home in and out of the curly mist my mind does wonder one moment elated that I may indeed see my Miah in a few short days, and then back to reality that more than likely it will be the end of December beginning of January, which after all this wait still feels pretty near to me. I guess only time will tell and there really is no harm in letting my heart soar just a little over this holiday thinking just maybe... Just maybe... But I will not tell my family so that I can just relish in the joy and if it is not our time I will not be bombarded with a million and one questions come Christmas. No I am keeping this to my self.... For now!

Happy Thanksgiving to all who will celebrate it tomorrow, my you find much to be thankful for from the year that is passing, and twice as much in the year that is ahead.

The great escape

There was a great uproar at my home this week when the lovely Miss Peach decided to do a disappearing act. Yes you read it right there was an escape artist in running loose to do as she pleased much to the dismay of my son who has not the heart for another loss, Of a precious pet hamster that is. It seems some how in the middle of the night her running wheel came apart. That would not be a bad thing if this cage were like most and the wheel was enclosed inside, but this one is on top of the cage and is separated by a tunnel. Needless to say when I turned around from checking all the sites for any type of rumors first thing in the morning I was rather taken back by the strange sight I saw.... OH CRAP... Is she still in there? No... OH CRAP... How the heck did she get down... OH CRAP... Is she dead behind the book case ( that is four feet tall)???? No thank you Lord.... WAIT what if she crawled away to die... Man that is going to stink and poor James. Ok Lets not freak out yet, ok so I have already done that. From here I did manage to pull myself together and actually start looking for her through the entire house. This went on all day I would scour every part of the house and I did eventually have to tell James that his fourth beloved hamster had decided to pull a Houdini on us and was no where to be found. He was really upset with me and insisted I had left the cage open. NO.... NO.... NO I tried to explain over and over to no avail. Just great this will be one of those memories he holds onto that will forever scar him. I have GOT to find that rodent!!!!! Yes I found her eight hours later. Where you might ask, well in the very first place I looked right after I calmed down the first time a round, In the closet right next to the shelf. Funny thing is, is that I made sure I closed the closet so she could not crawl in there after I searched it so I know she had to be in there the whole time as she could not have crawled under the doors. Now if that was not bad enough once I did locate her it took me a good twenty minutes just to catch her in a four' by two' closet. GRRRRRRRRRR oh well at least she is back safe and sound and James does not seem me as the hamster looser anymore, nope he still thinks watching mommy jump back and forth in a closet trying to catch her is the most entertainment he has seen in his little life.

Then and now

It is funny to think when we started this adoption process James was only three and now he is five and the difrence is so remarkable to me. Now he can read and write, he understands more about Miah and is always asking when she is coming home. He talks so much bigger and acts like he is going on 15 half of the time. I sure do love him!! For fun I am putting up video of him at three right about the time we started working towards Miah and a video from today. I think you will agree he is becoming such a little man.




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A wonderful Gift

Today my DH surprised me with a wonderful gift. It is something I will treasure and home our daughter will treasure as well. It was totally unexpected but right on time! It seems however I was not suppose to get this gift till Christmas, so I want to thank the mail man for cramming it into the mail box there by setting DH on fire and demanding that I open the package immediately to see if said gift had been damaged. Nope the gift is fine and wonderful I might add. Ok what is this special present..... The Elder-respecting book put together by the CCAA. It is a book of Selected china stories that teach children to respect their elders. It is so beautiful, when you open the book you see the stories written in pin yin and then you can read them in English at the end of each one.
The timing was so perfect to get this book today. I read the first story and it refers to a mother being a clock.... Oh how neat, I will not tell you the story because you really need to get this for you and your child you will not regret it I promise. Any way the story rang so true for me as I wait for my daughter and how even now I am keeping time for her. Every day I wait the hands of time move on and I am here taking account of that time recording it for ever in my mind so that some day I can tell her of all that went by as we waited to bring her home.

If you would like one of these books I know our agency has the authority to sell them, they benefit the CCAA and the orphanages in China and it is considered a donation.
www.GWCA.org

The Wait at a new level

This wait for me has come and gone in waves of nerves, worry, relief, uncertainty, and now finally a window of hope. Hope of seeing my daughter soon and know her, hope of reaching the end of this part of our journey to start on a new road. However it seems that the wait is at a different level for me right now also in respect to Oh My Gosh This is Going to Happen Soon. So here I am having already been waiting for Miah 19 months (5 months for paper work counts as part of my wait and 14 months since LID) and now I feel like I have not gotten anything done. The key word here is FEEL, because in all honestly I have most every thing done, the nursery is ready, she has clothes to grow into or out of, we have a packing list ready and almost every thing purchased for it. We have a plan for the call, a plan for packing, a plan for time off work and a plan on how to get to and from the airport. We have all our shots, passports and paperwork ready ( with the exception of the renewed 171 but that is in process now) and we have made arrangements for our animals too. So why do I feel so undone and frazzled? Maybe it is just reality setting in and I am finally getting the joy of bring our daughter home soon instead of the dread of another bad month of referrals not meeting our expectations. I know that we will get our referral in the next 3 to 7 weeks (WOW) and I can finally breath. James asked me today why they keep changing when he can get his sister and I got to tell him that mommy was sure she would be home by March, that felt good! Today I am finally going to go register at babies r us and I am sooooo looking forward to that. Not that I NEED much but there are several little things I would LIKE to have and since James is five now I have given almost every thing of his babyhood away. Ok I am rambling now so I will bring this post to an end. I am almost there the finish line is in sight.

Almost Next

Wow I am so over joyed that the CCAA covered as many referrals as the did. Aug.10th - 25th is a great number!!!! Now we are just 18 days worth of LIDs between us and a referral for our Sept. 12 LID!!!!! I really feel for the first time in a long time like I have a somewhat clear vision of the path ahead of us. It looks like barring any major setbacks that we will get our referral in December. I can live with that.... Just having the smallest idea of when it might really happen is enough to send me off in another world of Joy and Happiness!!!
Here is a BIG CONGRATS to all of the new mommy and daddies out there tonight I know the wait has been long and hard but just think you are almost in the home stretch and you can sleep at night now with a clear vision of who, where and how you daughter is!
Now to get through the next two months... At least I have the holidays to keep me busy!!!!

Sick

Why is it that when a kid gets sick for the most part they go on as normal, runny nose and all. I mean James will take a little bit of a rest here and there and of course he is whinny. However he will still play and kid around a good bit of the time. Now I have his cold and I wish the world would just STOP for a few days!!! I do not want to move let alone teach abc's and 123's to James, or chase the newly walking Bella around the house for a diaper change. I feel like .... Well let us just say NOT GOOD! What's more is I want to know what the cut off date is this month and it seems like that has been in suspended animation for almost two weeks now. There is no real clue as to when the referrals will come let alone how many we will get and so many agencies are giving their clients different info so it is all just a bunch of confusion.
There was one rumor I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up over and that is the one that says That an agency has told their clients that Nov. Referrals will include up to Mid Sept. LIDs..... That's us!!!! Now I have no clue if this is even remotely true and only time will tell and maybe this batch of referrals will help answer that. So I will go back to waiting with my stuffy nose and a small glimmer of hope!

Picnic

I love a day at the lake. I love the smells and sounds of nature as the breeze blows in off the water, but most of all the peaceful feeling that comes from just simply being in that moment. We had the privilege of joining Randy at his work picnic this year out at a local lake and I really enjoyed it. The great part is we got to have some quality family time away from the group as well as some time with friends. Here are a few pictures:

Father and Son Moment...... James in love with a new rock he has found! Texas at it's finest!

Wait and Wonder

What am I waiting for, well referral information of course. What am I wondering about, hmmmm let me see, oh yeah.... Just how far will they get this time! I am so ready to know something at this point that I have checked every site I can think of for the smallest glean of information and the most I can come up with is the 23rd is included and as for anything else after that there is NO WORD..... Yuck!! I really am hoping with about a thousand other waiting parents that this is the speed up we have all been holding our breath for. If not I will try very hard to hold out hope for next month and keep telling myself December is our month no way will we not see Miahs face by the end of the year. It just can not go past 15 1/2 months, nope it has to be December... Right??? UHHHHHHH only time will tell and until that happens I am officially going batty!

Pumpkin Patch time again

It has already been a year since our last tromp through the pumpkin patch and it was a little bit sad for me this year and a whole lot of glad too. I was so sure we would be home with Miah this year and taking tons of pictures of her and James together, but I guess fate has other plans and next year will be our year all together for this fun family traditon.
James was as usual a little turkey when it came time to pose for the camera but after a few bribes a little begging and a threat of no TV for a week he complied to plaster on a few fake smiles and some not so fake too. Here are a few of our shots. I just love this time of year!!

Our Current Events

Wow it has been a few days since I last posted. I guess I really need to document a few things going on in our lives now.
1. We are busy with church! Very busy. I am singing at our up coming conference and we have been offered a new position in our children's ministry. Not to mention I am going to be in the special performance dance to open the conference... No I can not dance, but I am learning and having lots of fun doing it. The music team is WONDERFUL and I am loving that so much!!!

2. We are already in full swing with holiday shopping. It makes it much easier on our budget to stretch it out over a few months. Then in December we have spending money to do the fun things instead of having to buy all of the gifts at once. I have found some really great deals and to date have saved about $130 so I can not complain about that.

3. Our van had a total melt down and Randy was sure it was going to cost $$$$ in fact he stated to me several times we are about to shell out at the very least $2000.00 NO WAY was all I could say and then grin and bear it. Well thankfully it was a fluke that we were faced with and a spring that cost $20.00 was all we needed to fix the whole problem. Funny how one little spring can stop a van in its tracks.

4. Well James is in Kindergarten.... sort of.... I put him in for three days and then took him out to home school. That is a long story in its self and maybe I will put it on here later. He is doing great and loves learning at home. I enjoy teaching him, but that is not to say that it is a piece of cake by any means. Stubborn does not even begin to describe it when he gets mind to misbehave, but for the most part he is really great at this whole new world of rules, learning and fun.

Ok I think that covers most of it for now unless you count that there are just 34 days left between us and our LID being matched....... I love that they did 18 days last month and I am praying this will be a BIG month not just in LID days but in matches!!!! I know they can do it. So by all that we have seen in the past I really feel like we can finally say we are on the count down instead of always pushing out the finish line just a little further. I really believe in my heart we will see Miahs face by or just after Christmas this year. Come on CCAA give me a surprise and do 34 days in October!

Welcome

Some one is really out there! Well I put a counter on my blog.... Really I just figured out how. Ok so I am not the most computer literate, but at least I try. Any way I thought maybe one or two people would stop by every few days, but hey in the last four days there have been about eighty people here give or take a few. Hi people, how are you and what brings you my way. Are you adopting, have adopted, want to adopt??? Are you just surfing the blog waves or did you stumble on in by accident? It really does not matter to me how you came to be at this site only that you are, and as long as your nice or at least civil WELCOME.

Oh and James welcomes you too, see his big smile and look he made you a special gift, how cool is that.

Miah Miah how does you closet grow....

Here is the closet today.... I think I need to go shopping! Oh I am also posting a few of her new dresses they are 12 months in size so I am pretty sure she will get to wear them. I can not wait!

There are a few things that have and do help me get through the wait,and one of them is getting clothes for Miah. Now I have written about this in my past blog but I felt that the subject was worth repeating for me. The top picture is shortly after we started the process to bring Miah home. We started with a few outfits and well it just kept growing. I will add another picture tomorrow of what the closet looks like after a year of being LID, but as you can see at the half way point by this bottom picture we were already having to move the shoe rack out to make more room. That to me is a good thing. Every out fit I buy (almost always on sale) is one that I hold very close and love on. I dream of what Miah will look like and smell like. I try and imagine the sound of her laugh or the touch of her tiny hands. To me the clothes are a tangible reminder of what is to come not to mention that they are just to darn cute. I also know that fancily when Miah is home I will haft to watch the budget a little closer as diapers and formula is not cheap and if I must choose between covering her tush or the cute out fit ..... well the tush wins out! Now size wise I have mostly 12 month clothing and a lot of 18 month things. There are some 6-9 month and a few 9 month things so just in case she is younger or really small I have a few things for her. I do have a back up plan to donate anything she can not wear so I do not feel guilty about buying the clothes at all, in fact they are all picked out with love and held with love so who ever wears them be it Miah or another child I know that I put my heart in to every one.

I have said it before, James is adopted... However this is something I tend to forget on a day to day basis, he is our son. It is just that simple, and it is not meant to take away from his birthmother or to ignore that part of his past, but we do not live our lives around the fact that he is adopted rather adoption is how he came to be in our lives. That being said we do not hide that fact from him either, we talk of his adoption with him and around him. We are open about it and even more so with the adoption of our daughter pending, who will look nothing like him and bring questions from outsiders that he has never had to face before. To me since he will be older than sister right away and be able to understand most of what is being said about his sister her adoption and adoption in general I want him to be prepared and well grounded in the fact that adoption is a wonderful thing and he is loved very much. Now back to the part about forgetting that he is adopted on a moment to moment world and I will tell you it is easy to forget he does not have my husbands DNA. James is JUST like his daddy in so many ways it is really cool. He talks like Randy and he acts like Randy but it is the little things that get me the most. Like when James is mad he will sigh almost identical to Randy and this is with out trying to mimics or even thinking about what he is doing, and when he concentrates really hard he sticks his tongue out and moves it the EXACT same way as Randy.... It is sooooo cute but the kicker is he looks so much like his daddy it is uncanny sometimes. There are things I would rather not mention that he does just like me but my favorite thing is the way he loves to make up a song, and how he will sing to himself making up things as he goes along not caring who hears or if it makes sense to anyone else. I sure do love my little buddy.

Enjoy the new scrap page!

One Year LID

Well in the beginning I never thought I would even see a one year mark of our LID without our daughter in hand. As time went by that became more and more of a reality and eventually I began to pray that we would only get so far as this one year mark. Well we are here and still have no clue as to when we will see our daughters face. It could be two months or it could be six. This journey has been good and it has been bad, it has been easy and it has been hard however I am grateful that we have made it this far at least this is one year I will never haft to wait again and with any luck this time next year this wait will be a distant memory and we will look back and say how worth it she is.I think the bad and hard things are the not knowing. Not knowing when and how many referrals are coming, not knowing it there will be a new set of rules set in place, or knowing if they will grandfather us in if there are. Not knowing when Miah may be born or when I can guess that she has been. That and so many more unknowns that nothing but a referral and then our daughter in arms can answer.The good and the easy have been falling in love with our daughter even without seeing her face. Setting up a place for her in our home and lives. Making a choice that no matter what we would wait for her and cherish her when we a finally given the chance. Buying all the cute clothes and holding them close wondering how she will feel in my arms and sending prayers her way.I am grateful that I have had my James to help ease the wait because I know what it is to be childless for many years and yearn for a child with none to hold. He has been as always my little prince charming and as best he could eased some of the pain of this wait. I am blessed with Randy as well as he has been a rock and helped me to keep my sanity when days like the one with only five referral days came in. Reminding me that it is just a matter of time and then we will have the child meant for us. Letting me cry but not wallow in self pity, and holding me.Don't get me wrong waiting is not the end of the world and I know that well as I have waited for a child only to hold her and lose her, that is as close to the end as I want to come. Waiting for Miah is just hard HARD.One year thank goodness we have come this far.... Almost there baby girl we are coming and we love you. Hold on!

9/11

Five years ago today I woke up to the sweet sound of my two month old son needing some attention. I made him a bottle, feed him and then lay him down on a soft blanket in the floor for some stimulation about two feet from our TV and I lay down beside him and turned it on to hear the news and weather report for the day. Never in a million years did I expect what came next. I thought I was watching a movie clip at first and then after they showed the clip of the first plane hitting the twin towers for the third or fourth time it hit me that this was real. Oh My God, I looked at James and just wanted to pick him up and hide, but I could not tear my gaze away from the news and then it happened. I watched in horror as a second plane hit, there was no turning away of the camera or going off air no I saw it all from the safety of my living room and I still felt the jolt of that impact as if I were standing there. I called Randy right away and told him about the second plane and he was stunned yelling at his co workers to turn on the new online right now, then suddenly as I am on the phone I hear a reporter stating that the pentagon has been hit..... I tell Randy this and again stunned silence, I think we just sat on the phone in silence for a while not know what to say or to do next. What was happening.... By this time there was no question that we were under attack of some kind but why and who and how were questions that would take time to answer. I stayed glued to the TV all day holding James and crying, praying and being afraid....Fear like I had never known, I mean this is America and you just don't mess with her.
Today James is five and thriving and our country has rallied together and come back from the terrible tragedy but it is not the same as before. It will never be the same,
To all who lost a loved one in this horrible event my heart and prayers go out to you may you find peace today and every day.
To our country may we continue to heal and grow, let us cause a better future for our children and a safe one at that.

Looking to Brighter Things

I know that many families who are walking the adoption road right now are in a word dazed. Dazed at the wait and the rumors, at the lack of any concrete information other than there is NO information that is reliable beyond a fault. So instead of writing about how sad, mad and well just plain dazed I am, I am going to post a very special page . This is my mom again only this time she is with James doing what I love most.... Being a kid again! With him and his cousin Aaron my mom is a true blue KID. She loves them and gets on their level to play. In this page James is almost three and he loves t dance, but he rarely does for anyone else to see. My mom is the same way she only lets a few people see this wonderful side of her come to the surface and I am so glad that I am able to enjoy her this way, but most importantly that James is and that he is in awe with his Nene!

Pictures are up

Hey look a picture!!!!! Ok I have been trying for days to get this to work and finally it has.

We took James to the science place in Dallas this summer and had a wonderful time. Most of the kids were off in other areas and we had a lot of space to our selves. I was amazed at the difference that have taken place there since I was a child but even more amazed at how much had stayed the same. I can hardly believe I can share this with MY child, so many times and moments that I thought I would never be a mom and for the last five years I have been mommy and I still get blown away by that fact. It has been almost a year since we were logged in with CCAA and as I sit here right now I find it hard to believe that Miah will be home someday soon. It seems as if I have made it all up and in a way I have pushed it aside as a way of coping with the constant let downs we have experienced this past year. I keep waiting for next month to be the month we have better news or at the very least an answer to all our waiting question. So now I will relish in the fact that it took seven years to have this beautiful boy in our lives to call our own but at the end of the day I can look in his bed to see him sleep and know that IT DID HAPPEN. It WILL happen with Miah too, we just haft to hang on a little while longer.

I have still having trouble uploading Pictures to this blog, but in the mean time here are some pictures of my little man in video. Enjoy!

Create your own video for free at http://www.onetruemedia.com/create?&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=embed

More Pages

I have been having real trouble getting any pictures to upload. I will keep trying but in the mean time I will tell you we have made it throught 11 months of waiting since our LID and I am Really Really hoping that we will stay as close to the one mark as possible, but as usual only time will tell.... A LOT OF TIME so far!

Needing to get caught up

I am a scrapper. I love all things paper and getting my hands covered in ink... but latley I have just been in the dumps and not really getting any pages done. I am much more creative when I am happy and upbeat , however with the delays in getting Miah and the adoption going forward it is only normal that I have been anything but upbeat. Much to my dismay this has affected many things in my day to day life and I am making a choice to turn that around. I need to for so many reasons and the number one reason is my family. They need me, focused and in charge of the little day to day things that we take for granted until one day the need is not being met and you find your self in a pickle of a mess and behind on all the things you once loved so much. So here are a few of my efforts to get caught up on James' book and my own as well.

Oh by the way if you are out there I would love to know. Please leave a note if only to say Hi I stoped by. It would really help me out ya know, and thanks!

School shopping

Well with less than two weeks to go until James starts Kindergarten I have been shopping, shopping, shopping. It seems over the summer he has outgrown every pair of pants he owns. The only problem is that it is only in length that they no longer fit. The wait size if fine, and this is a big problem! It is so hard to find anything that is not swimming on him so I have learned to love two things 1) 5 slim these seem to do really well but are very hard to find and 2) the new drawing up waist in children's pants. Did you know that they now put elastic on the inside of kids jeans with a button to change the size in an instant on certain brands. It is really nice and will make life a lot easier or at the very least his wardrobe easier to manage.
Now we have all the school supplies that are required but all the fun of having them is gone. It seems that the kids must give all the supplies to the teachers and then they are all doled out as needed.... Where is the fun in that! I loved arranging my supplies when I was a little girl, taking them in and out of the supply box, having a special pencil, decorating every thing with my name and knowing it was mine and mine alone. Not so now days you send in two or three of every thing and they store it away No Fun I tell ya!

PB & J

I am so proud of my little man. He has accomplished another first in his life, and was rewarded with a great lunch. Yep that is right James has successfully made his first PB & J. I was going to make lunch and the next thing I know James has taken the bread out of my hand saying " I will do it". I must admit my first thought was what a mess that would be, but wiser thoughts prevailed and I realized that he is really getting to be such a big boy and this is just another first in the raising of a child. Besides that is what cleaning products are for and a mess never hurt anyone. So in all his glory he created his master piece and I dutifully took a few pictures of the momentous occasion.

Looking Back

I was inspired today by another blogger to go back and look at some of my older scrapbook pages and so I thought I would share. Yesterday I sat down and just looked at the books (many books) I have done for James in his five years of life and I am pretty far behind right now, about a year and a half behind with some things ughhhh! Well as I looked at these pages I just wanted to cry. I thought he was such a big boy here when really he was still such a baby. He is my first and I was caught up in making sure he was always ahead of the game like rolling over as early as possible and sitting and crawling and walking.... WHAT was I thinking! I wish the baby moments did not go by so fast and if I had it to do all over again I would RELAX and just enjoy him more. Maybe not try to make him a big boy so fast. I know with Miah I am going to just slow down and take time with the little things, and I am starting to do that with James now too. I want him to be a little kid and embrace childhood, now do not get me wrong I am by no means a stuffy mom I let him play, but I also expect a lot from him and sometimes it is really more than I should. I mean he is only five and it is in his nature to be messy, loud and whinny at times and I find myself telling him "your not a baby, don't do such and such" when really I just need to relax a little more and enjoy the moment.
Enjoy the pictures and check back soon as I am going to load a few just finished pages here in a bit.

The silver Lining/ Ten month LID

I took this picture a few weeks ago and now as I look at it I am hopeful. More so than I have been in months I just can not help it. To tell the truth even if I crash and burn from being up in the clouds right now it is worth it. I need this refreshing change from all the monthly doom and gloom, something to look forward to instead of dread. You know like looking forward to seeing my daughters face before the end of the year instead of dreading the wait for another nine months. Ahhh the silver lining is so sweet.... I really do think that the CCAA has always had some type of master plan to keep the wait to around 12 months and it is now starting to come into focus. With our 9/12 LID that means we could actually see our daughters face in Sept. but I really feel it will be OCT. Either way I will be over the moon as I had such despair feeling like it would not happen till next march.

So I am celebrating today. Celebrating that we have survived the wait for ten months not counting all the previous waiting with the paperchase and so on. To day IS a good day , I am going to enjoy it and be happy!

In a Moment

Have you ever watched something happen that was totally out of your control and yet it seemed to be moving in slow motion. Well James took a nose dive off the two inch step on our front entrance and as I turned I saw him fly through the air, hit the concrete and then roll onto his back. As you can see in the picture above he hit the concrete with his face first. Not a thing I could do but pick him up, cuddle him and tell him he would be ok. However I was not ok, no in fact I was shaken to the core! As a parent I am always saying be careful, watch out, slow down, don't run, and a million other phrases all in order to keep him safe, but in a moment with out warning things can happen no matter how careful I am and that is scary.... Very scary to me!!
Randy and I joke about wanting to put him in a bubble, we know it is impossible but still how do you keep them safe and not smother them at the same time? This was really a minor thing and I am grateful for that, in fact James is all healed up now with the exception of a small scar that will all but fade away in the coming days. I guess I am writing this to remind myself to cherish every moment and to be on guard!

Happy Birthday James

Five years ago today my dream of becoming a mom came true. I have written about our story before and if you would like to read it you can find it on our home page under James' story.

It hardly seems like he should be two let alone five and I am just amazed that he is ours. James is one bright, amazing little guy with a love for life and an ability to make others smile uncontrollably. We love you son!

This page to the left is the day we brought him home and it is a tribute to his adoption the words read :
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mother. I have dreamed and prayed for the moment I would hold a beautiful baby in my arms and eventually I began to beg and cry out to God for the child I yearned for not understanding why it was taking years to conceive. Seven years I waited for you and God did answer my prayer with the most perfect child for me. I did not carry you in my womb but in my heart. My struggle to get pregnant was only the road that lead me to where you are and I would not change that for all the world. Adopting you is the reason God made me wait. You are my special gift and even more precious to me than I could ever imagine... I love you My James now and Forever you will be my Baby Mine.
http://www.geocities.com/rfordtuff@sbcglobal.net/

We are so blessed with our son that I can not even imagine how much more wonderful our world will be when we bring Miah home. Twice the birthdays will be so great.... I can not wait!!!

From a baby to a big boy just like his daddy. Now James is into remote controlled cars and the Cars movie. He loves bubble gum and tormenting our dogs. His favorite food is tomatoes and pickles. He hates to be woken up in the morning (yep he's my kid) and he sticks his tongue out when he is really concentrating ( just like his daddy) see photo!
Five wonderful years ..... I love you James!

The Fourth of July for Us

Fourth of July this year came and went with no fire crackers or sparkler for us this year, and I missed them! However there was lots of family fun and a few suprises along the way.

As we pulled up to James' GreatGrandFathers home in Log Cabin Tx we were greeted by four baby armadillos. They were to young to be aggressive and to dumb to be scared so we got to get up close and personal with them, I even reached out to touch them and they just continued to root for bugs and go about their business as if we were just a part of the scenery. James was not sure what to think and took it all in moment by moment. I think the kicker for him was when one of them decided to figure out what my camera was and walked right up to me and sniffed my lens. James kept a pretty good distance from then on.

James was again out numbered by little girls, it seems every where we go he is the only little boy around. Today he was in the company of his cousins one of which we were newly introduced to and are so glad to finally know. Samantha and Hailie were a blast and both Hams for the camera. All three of the kids are within a year of each other so they a wonderful time playing and just being kids.

It is wonderful to know that they will grow up in a land that is FREE. They will have opportunities to pursue anything they choose and the right to speak their minds. They are full of raw potential to achieve the unimaginable and this land is fertile ground for their imaginations. Thank you America for being the home we love and hold so dear. May you continue to flourish and grow as a Nation.