See My Big Brother... The HAM!
This is near the Walmart.
James trying so hard to not wake her... NOT!!
Just look at my cheeks... Mommy says they are that kissable!!!
Mother, daughter bad hair moment!

Our time

It is our time in China and I am so grateful for that. I am going to keep this short as I know you just want the pictures.... Chongqing is a wonderful place with so much old and new side by side. The people are friendly and very curious about James and then when they see Miah they are even more so. Yesterday we went to Wal mart and did a little shopping while in line an older man came up to James just talking away and picked him up right from between Randy and the shopping cart James was clinging to. He was just chattering and then trying to hold James up for all to see him.... James took it well and we explained to he that the man was happy to see James and that the man only wanted every one to see how cute he was. James was also surrounded by a group of ladies at a market we ventured to yesterday as well. They loved touching his cheeks and I think they keep telling him he is beautiful. James got a yo yo as a reward so he felt it was worth the sacrifice of his cuteness. Miah is doing well. She will go to both Randy and I but wants me in sight and defiantly seems to understand that I am taking care of her so she clings to me. Ok here comes the "POOP NEWS" so don't read if your not interested... She went last night but it was so hard for her. I am talking bricks here.... I think she may have been trying to go for two days now but last night she just cried and whimpered so I picked her up and sure enough she was pushing with all her might and no luck so I layed her down and pulled her knees to her chest and massaged her tummy It still took a long time and she was in pain but we did have success. After that she has sleep really well. POOP NEWS OVER.

Well I guess I will post Photos now and then I am off to get ready to go and see the SWI Miah was in for eight months of her little life.... Oh we did find out Miah was in foster care for four months and then brought back to the SWI for one month before we came to get her. Miah loves ... LOVES.. Her blocks, and baning them!Time for our first family outing to .... WALMARTI am not walking yet but I sure do look cute trying.See my Smile... It comes out from time to time.My Big Brother Likes to Share With Me.

Miah day Pictures

That very first moment!


Hello Daddy

See my cheeks....

Brotherly Love

Pure Beauty....

The Most Amazing gift...

Oh if only I could put into words what a day today has been...But I can not, there are to many emotions and to much spinning around between my ears. Not to mention I am just TIRED. I have got to tell you I have the most beautiful little girl on the planet. Miah is perfect from her tiny little nose to the tip of her toes.
The moment came and went in a flash and I was holding her before I even had time to wonder when it would be our turn. It was so amazing when we got to the Civil Affairs floor there were the babies just waiting for us and every one immediately started snapping pictures and trying to figure out who was who... I guessed right but I must admit I was not sure at all until they handed her to me. She did not cry at first she just stared at me her little eyes searching, it was a wonderful feeling. When I handed her to Randy she only fussed for a few seconds before really looking him over as well. It took James a moment before he would say hello, but just as I knew he would he has taken to being a big brother as well... A little jealous, but still wonderful none the less. Miah is fitting into the nine month things I brought her very well and the size 3 diapers are right on the money. She is about middle in our group size wise and she is the youngest. Her hair is thick and course and so shiny .... I LOVE IT! She took just fine to the Playtex bottles we brought and has already had two bottles for us as well as some bread, what I think was Con gee and some banana and Cheerios so we no she will not starve. It is still early to really tell but I do not think she is really crawling very well yet, she seems to scoot backwards and get frustrated with it. She is sitting up but more at the level of a eight month old at this point ... still a little floppy.
When we got back to our hotel room after being in the civil affairs office for three hours she was all about playing with stacking cups and smiling and giggling... She likes to be tickled. James had great fun teaching her how to play with them.Tonight laying her down went pretty well all things considered, she did fight sleep and so eventually I just layed her down in the crib with a soft blanket and just rubbed her head while she just let it all out and went to sleep in a matter of minutes. All in all she really has not cried much at all and has even smiled and laughed for us and that for sure is a blessing. Well I hate to cut this short but I really must get some rest so enjoy the pictures and be sure and check back for more.

Today is the day

As I sit here I am just in awe that we are almost there and that our daughter will be in our arms in a matter of hours. Amazing. I am going to keep this short but wanted to let every one know our journey to Chongqing was safe in not long due to the extra three hours we sat on the plane waiting for take off. Beijing had snow yesterday and from what I understand that is rare so needless to say it was a mess at the airport, but the plus to that was the beautiful ride on the way. James continues to do very well and made a special friend on the plane. I will write more on that latter but for now I have a diaper bag to get ready.

Great Climbing at the Great Wall 1

We had a wonderful if not wet and cold day! James was amazing yet again and did very well, Nana and Nene do not worry about him he is doing better than we are and loving it too. Every one is so great to him and that helps a lot. Well I made it to the first tower at the great wall behind James who booked it up there with his dad and would have gone even farther but we decided it was best he stay behind with me as Randy went on and on and on.... Randy did great he made it past the third tower and got a few really great pictures, but when he came back down his legs were doing the noodle dance of there own acord. We also saw Tian An Men Square and the Forbidden City both of which are very neat and I could have spent all day taking pictures, but alas it was a quick moving tour and so I did the best I could! My favorite was the Royal Garden and the story behind it. Well I will keep this short for now since we are due to leave our hotel first thing this morning but I will try and send photos of Miah as soon as I can.

Great Climbing at the Great Wall

We Made It

We are here!!!!! I can hardly beleive it as I type this but it is true and I have a sore everything to prove it. The travel was blessfully uneventful and James did a wonderful job.Infact he did better than Randy and I both.. Thank the Lord. We made it through customs without any hitches and Randy just breezed us through the airport like he had done it a million times. I am so greatful that he is the way he is or I would still be wondering around that airport. I was running on two hours sleep for the trip and did not sleep at all on the plane rides so needless to say but by the time we landed I was a walking Zombie.

What have I done so far? Well I have seen lots and lots of construction, been on my first bus ride( yep it was scary but only a little), gotten money changed over and feel rich LOL, been to my first Chinese grocery store... really small like a convience store so nothing to out of the ordinary, found out they have Subway Restraunts here( did not try it yet it does not smell to good to me) and then crashed ....HARD.... on the HARD bed and slept on and off for the past eight hours. James handled last night pretty well while we were out and then he slept all night, Randy too... Infact they are still sleeping, so hopefully James will adjust pretty well pretty fast and make things go a little smoother. I will try and post pictures tonight...We love and miss you... Just two days till we get Miah!!!!

Today we head out to see the Great Wall and Tianmen Square, as well as the Forbidden City. Hopefull I will down

The Final Stretch

This is the final stretch, we are almost there. It is only three more days of waiting until we board a plane and head to China, and only one more week until I hold my daughter for the first time. The next Monday I face will find me a mother of two and finally in a family of four ready to face all the joys that life has to offer together. These last few days sleep has been just out of my reach as my mind races of thoughts of how the "forever moment" will be. I wonder will she cry and will I be able to comfort her, will James fall in love with her right away or will it take him some time to adjust to being a big brother. Will Randy be at ease with our little girl, or will he fear "Breaking" her? This is just a sample of my minds eye, among worries of travel and fear of Miah being really sick, I just can not sleep. I long to have this moment so that all will come to rest in my mind and I will KNOW my daughter. I love her. I LOVE her. I LOVE HER. All will be ok and I know that no matter what we face God is on our side and he will lead and guide us. Lord it is my prayer that you whisper to Miah's little heart that we are coming. Father in heaven please give this child a sense of peace, and help her to know that it will all be alright.

This will be the last post before we go, but I plan on blogging as much as possible while we are in China. I wanted to take the time to thank a few people before I go, just in case when we get home I find myself a little to busy at first.

First to the few of you who have commented on my blog on a regular basis... Thank you, you have not gone unnoticed and have brought many smiles and much joy to my heart.

Kelly, I love you girl! You have been a wonderful source of information for me. You have made me feel apart of our little adoption community and most of all you have just been a wonderful influence to me. Your joy over my daughters homecoming was just the icing on the cake, thank you so much for sharing in this with me and I can not wait to come and introduce my Miah to your M. and E. What wonderful little friendships may bloom here?? Oh what fun it will be to see!

Erin, You have on more than one occasion been a life saver to me. You are my Notary In Shining Mini Van.... LOL! I am so very thankful for you and your warm heart and bubbling personality and I look forward to introducing Miah to you and Miss M. I also wait with great anticipation for the next Little Miss M. to come home too!

Kingdom Life Family, Thank you all so much for your continued support and Love. Your prayers and blessings are such a strength to our family. We love you all and we know Miah will too.

Karen S., I know that you may never see this but in the event that you do, thank you so much for your time and prayer for Miah. Thank you for encouraging me in the beginning of my Journey to her and for reminding me that with God all things are possible. I love and miss you girl.

Karen E., Thank you for sharing in my joy with me. Thank you for being a wonderful friend in Christ and just for loving me. You are a true Gem and I know that very soon God will bless you with a wonderful bundle of your own.

Gram, Oh how I love you!! Thank you for just being you and for wanting Miah just as much as I do. One of my greatest joys in life is being your granddaughter and I so look forward to bringing your great granddaughter home to you. Thank you for your open mind, open arms and open heart.... We are almost there!

Mom, My best friend, my buddy.... You are my hero! I love you mom. Thank you for all your support, for the joy you find in bringing this baby home. Thank you for loving my children and wanting the best for them. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on and my ear to bend. Thank you for encouraging me and for telling me like it is even when I do not always want to hear it. Thank you for getting it. For seeing it through my eyes, and knowing that adoption is just as special and just as real as any biological child. Thank you for opening your mind and listening when others will just not hear, you made this "pregancy" real for me ... Thank you.

Mom S. I love you and thank you for all that you are in my life and all that you will be in Miahs life. Thank you for already loving her and for just being thrilled she is coming. I know you two will have a special bond and I look forward to it!

James, Mommy loves you buddy. Thank you! You are going to be a wonderful big brother and I thank you for always believing that sister really would come home.... We are almost there monkey!

Randy, Thank you. My life long soul mate, my love, my one and only, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for taking this journey with me and for having this baby with me. I am so in awe of the love you already have for this little girl that we call our own, I am thankful for the father you already are to James and I know Miah will be blessed to call you daddy too. Thank you for making this choice with me and helping me get through when I almost felt like giving up... you knew I never would! You put up with the mood swings and the depression, you put up with the pity parties and the down in the dumps moments on this roller coaster that no one else could really understand and I am thankful for that. Thank you for sharing the dream with me, the looking ahead and the planing for our daughter. I love you babe.

We are almost there.

Will you recognize me?

Well my creative corny side has come to the surface. I made T-Shirts for my little family!!! For the plane ride over that is, so no one can miss who we are and why we are on this journey. Ok so the truth is I could not resist showing off my daughter and what better way than to have her plastered on the front of not just one but three different shirts! I did try to have a little variety and did not make my DH's shirt to girly ;o) Here they are for your viewing pleasure....

I must admit I am really looking forward to taking lots and lots of new pictures of Miah. I think I have done just about all I can with the three I have. There are a few other pictures that I am pretty sure are her but I will not post them until I can ask the nannies at her SWI. Oh and by the way we are less than a week away from take off.... Only six more sleeps!

Single Digit

I have never been so happy to see a single digit number in all my life. 9.... that is all that remains in our count down....9 days and then up, up, and away we go to China. Right now it is almost unbearable to be home as the clock seems to stand still and time lingers on and on. I am so ready to hold our daughter to see her face and tell her I love her. I am trying to find busy work to do but have almost run out of things to keep me occupied and I no longer need a computer fix every few minutes of the day, it is funny how that has made a huge void. Ok I will stop complaining I know that there are many many families still waiting and just hoping for that moment when they will see the dream of a life time before their very eyes... To you I say hold on your day is coming.
9 days!!!!!!

It's a baby shower

This past Saturday the ladies at my church got together and gave me a baby shower. It was such a wonderful event, and I felt so much love and anticipation for my little girl! I just want to say thank you to every one who came and to all who blessed my daughter with an abundance. We now have just about every thing we need and that brings a wonderful peace of mind.

I was so touched by the little ladybug placed on the corner of the cake.... She tasted pretty darn good too ;0).

The out pouring of gifts was over whelming, They also had a money tree for me and several gave us a financial blessing!

My mom got Miah two of the cutest little dresses.... I love the ladybug dress!

I so adore this little purse set. I wanted to get it for Miah so bad so I put it on the registry and am so very thrilled to have it for her.

More Darling Ladybug stuff... I like the ladybug and what she represents to me.

Here is the final outcome... or most of it, there are a few things that were given to me before or the day after by those who could not attend, but all in all I would say we made out like a bandit!

One thing to notice is the quilt on the couch.... It was made with love just for our Miah and we LOVE it!

Itinerary

Finally I have my itinerary! We have known for a couple weeks now that we would leave on the first but everything else was up in the air. So it looks like this:


March 1 : Depart for China
March 2 : Land in China
March 3: Tour the Great Wall, Forbidden City and Tian An Men Square
March4 : Fly to Chongqing
March5 : GET MIAH!!!!! do paper work at Notary Office and Police Bureau
March6 : Shopping for Babies
March7 : Visit Dianjiang SWI
March8 : Sightseeing tour CiqiKou Ancient architecture Street
March9 : Sightseeing tour to E'Ling Park, get passport, FLY to Guangzhou
March10 : Get Miah's Visa photo and medical examination
March11 : Sightseeing tour Chen Family temple
March12 : Documents to American Consulate CA appointment
March13 : Get Visa
March14 : Fly Home

Now to get throught the next 13 days without going nuts waiting to take off in that jet plane!!!

Happy Valentines Day

( This is from the beginning of our Journey to Miah, but I am posting it as a Valentine to my Daughter today)

Chocolate, hearts, rosebuds, and I Love You written for your sweetheart. Yes it is valentines day, but I got a gameboy game !??! No really I asked for it so that I can have something mind numbing to do on the flight over while my son is hopefully sleeping! Thank you Babe!

James is all cuddled up with his new stuffed puppy and eyeing his candy every few minutes waiting for the go ahead to gobble it up.

I also got one other very special gift , The finding add picture of Miah. It was unexpected and a real blessing to me. My sweet little girl Happy First Valentines Day to you! I love you so much already and I am counting the hours until I can tell you so in person.

Happy Valentines Day to all!

Back to Scraps

I am a scrapbook-er. I love the use of paper to get a message across. What is more for me it is a type of therapy. When James has given me a rotten time as all children do at some point, I can use my scrapbooking to remind me why I love this little boy so much. If I am just feeling down it brings a smile to my face and I feel as though I have accomplished something by saving a memory or really just creating something that is my own. Some day James and Miah will be able to look back on their childhood and really see it through these pages. Now I am aware that this is not for every one and I would never ever expect every one else to get the same joy from it and the needed calm sometimes that I do, but if you do love it like me drop me a line.

Any way with the last few months I have been away from my scrapbooking due to a new obsession with the computer and all the Yahoo boards and information sites. I literally logged on to my computer upwards of 20 times a day looking for any information on referrals, and then on TAs. Well now that all of that is done I find that I have much more time in my day... go figure.. and I have found my love again with a whole new passion as I get to scrap for my daughter now. I have started her a Life/scrap book for her, but it is not her "Scrapbook" However I did do the first page for her this week and I was so excited about it!! Her first page is here now for you to see, and I am also putting up a few of James that I just completed as well. Enjoy!

11 Months Old

Today my daughter is eleven months old. It is hard to know that I will have missed all but two days of the first year of her life, but as tough as it is I know that for every day I missed I will have the rest of my life to be her mother. The milestones that she has accomplished are ones I can never see but I will be there for the lifetime of others. Her first birthday is the first I will witness and for that I am more than grateful! I really am trying to look on the bright side of this but I must admit that the waiting now is almost more than I can take. Every thing is in place and we even have tickets to fly to China, but due to the Chinese New Year that travel is delayed and it is HARD. The first thing I think of in the morning is how many days till lift off and the last thing I think of at night is how many more sleeps till Miah. It is funny that the nearly two years of waiting for a referral could not prepare me for this part of the wait, you would think I would be an expert by now. Ok enough of my ranting.

Miah happy eleven month birthday my darling. I will be with you this time next month and we will celebrate your first birthday, till then I am sending you my love, prayers and thoughts. I love you, mommy

It's the little things

So I went shopping the other day and just happened down the baby isle when imagine my surprise there was a sell on baby food. Now I know to some this may seem silly but to me it was such a big kick picking out baby food. I choose one of every kind as it was a really good sale, nearly 30 cents off a jar of 3rd foods! So it made my happy little choices and chalked it up to needing food stocked up for when we get home from China. Well I was even more elated to see the food all stacked up in the cabinet and knowing that by this time next month I will actually be feeding this to my little dumpling! Oh how fun to know it is the little things that bring so much joy, you know like little jars of baby food!

Packing and Such

Well I would love to show you a photo of Miah's nursery with the piles of stuff to be packed and the fact that you could barley see a floor, however I forgot to take a picture of that! Take my word for it mess is not nearly descriptive enough. The good news is that we are packed for the most part, you know only twenty five days till take off! No really we have been packed for about two weeks now, no joke. It really helped to buy a few things here and there during the nearly two year wait and we did not have that much to purchase after referral, with the exception of a few extras I opted for at the last min. we are totally packed and ready to go. One thing we did do was buy socks and underwear just for the trip and a few new clothes so that we could pack early without having to wait on laundry or going short on clothes for next few weeks. It will be nice to have a few new things to wear and feel good in while we are super tired!

We are waiting on our visas to come in and we have to get some paperwork notarized but other than that every thing for the trip is ready... Can I say it enough ...We are READY!! The wait just gets a little harder every day! Now we are also trying to keep busy with other things like all the little projects we have had on our plate for months now thinking we would get to it before referral and low and behold they are still waiting to be done! It is so hard to be motivated when all you want to do is be on the computer looking at any hint of news of referrals for months on end... that is my excuse and now I am all out of them ;0) So it is off to cleaning out closets , painting touch ups, organizing James room, setting up a baby proof playroom, finding some solution on baby proofing a fireplace that we never use, and well about a dozen other things I could come up with. Here are a few pictures of the finished...almost... suitcases.

** The formula in the pictures has been cut down to only one small can just in case we can not get to any when we first get Miah.

Happy Happy Day

Wow yesterday was such a great day. Watching all the referrals come in and knowing what that feels like was a whole new experience and I loved it. After being on the out side looking in for twenty two months as people got their referral it took me by complete surprise how emotional I would be for those who are getting their babies this time around. It is all good and I want to congratulate all the new moms and dads out there and I am wishing you a very speedy TA too!!

Now not only did I watch all the referrals come in but I also had my own special drama going on as well... WE HAVE A CA...... and WE LEAVE ON MARCH 1st..... It was amazing, we had only just gotten our TA the day before yet when I checked our email yesterday morning there it was, confirmation on our CA. All in one day we got a tentative schedule and Plane tickets. It looks like right now we will get our Miah on the 4th or 5th of March. This is such a HUGE deal for me as I really really really wanted to have our daughter on her first birthday and now I know I will YEAH!!! Oh in case you forgot she turns one on March 7th. I also found out that our church will be throwing us a baby shower on the 17th of this month and I am so looking forward to that. I really do not like being the center of attention, but I am looking forward to a time that is just about Miah and being able to show off her picture and talk all about her. I can not wait!

How I am going to get through the rest of February is a mystery to me *sigh* !

TA..... It has arrived!

I am soooooo happy our TA is here and now I am one step closer to my girl. It looks like we will travel around the first of March if all goes well. Hopefully we will know sooner rather than later.... HEY I am going to China... HEY I am going to China... YEAH.... Insert Happy Dance here.... YEAH.... I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way! Ok I am going to remain on cloud nine for a while but I will leave you with a picture and the knowledge that today four weeks ago I saw my little girls face for the first time!

Looking Back on "The Call"

I am using this blog as a sort of diary and so I thought I would take the time to put down in writing "The Call" before I forget... Not that I ever really could but it would be nice any way!
SO it starts a few days before jumping on the computer every five to ten minutes of the day and this is by no means an exaggeration. Finally I see what I have been looking for news that referrals were on the way. In fact there were reports of over seas receiving their darling daughters and sons information so I knew it would only be a day or two for us. Life moved at a snails pace and the computer was never far from my sight. I was looking at RQ and the boards as well as watching our email for the Stork Alert which oddly enough never came for us. Nope I opened up email once again in desperation as I had read other agencies in the states were calling their people only to see no news. I started to cry, even one more day of waiting seemed way beyond what I could handle. I had asked my agency in advance what time they got mail call and I was fairly certain if I did not see an email before two then we had a slim chance of seeing a referral that day. So I was giving myself room as it was only 9 in the morning. Refresh, walk away, Refresh, walk away, Refresh...sigh ok this goes on for an hour literally I checked out the computer gambit every five minutes. Then it happened at about 10 I went to check email ONE MORE TIME and there in all its glory were the words....THE STORK HAS LANDED..... See no stork alert for us he just LANDED. I jump up and down and up and down and then decide to call DH to let him know life was about to change and that if he did not answer the phone when I called him he would be in MAJOR trouble. Now in the time from when I got the email to the moment the call came for us I was a huge wreck. I managed to get the camera and Video set up and made sure I had a pen and paper, but other than that I just could not function. Oh one other thing I did was have some special M&Ms ready for James while I was on the phone... like any other five yr old when the phone rings he becomes Mr.Got to have all the attention. Ok back to not functioning... James could have eaten ice cream from his hands on my living room carpet while jumping on one foot and I would have be oblivious. I must admit TV was my friend on this day, the SI FI channel was playing a string of back to back shows that James could actually watch and that were just enough to keep me distracted so I did not literally wear a hole in the carpet. Every noise was the phone ringing and I jumped ... A LOT... Poor Randy actually had the nerve to call me a couple of times while I waited only to be told DO NOT CALL THIS PHONE!!! Now as time passed and I became worried, my mind started to come up with all kinds of reasons why they had not called yet.I was so scared that we would be skipped or they decided at the last minute that we were not qualified. Thinking that it was getting close to five I started to get panicked as our agency closes then I was just sure they would all go home and just call me in the morning. So I decided to go check the computer and see all the new little faces on the boards. I never made it... The phone rang.... I think to myself "Randy I told you not to call this line" I say " Hello" and then the sweetest voice says ..."Stacey, This is Krista." I know there was a pause there before I realized this was it. This is the moment I have been waiting for all these months. I ask her if we can get DH on the line and then I forbid her to hang up. As I turn the video camera on I switch over to add Randy on the line carefully looking at the number written in front of me, a number I have dialed thousands of times but I knew if I tried to remember it in that moment I would forget so I had it written for me. I switch back over and say hello three times before Krista says she is still there...be still my heart.... Randy does answer (good thing!!) and I tell him in a very shaky voice that Krista is on the line. He tells her hello and then the most wonderful words were spoken to us. "You have a daughter...." and she continues to give us information and all I can say is OK...OK....OK....OK... I think the most intelligent thing I got out was how much does she weigh and Say her name again. The call was over almost before it began and at the end Krista says to us that she just hit the send button on her computer and we could now see our little girl. It is funny we never asked during the call what she looked like or even when we would see her. I am telling you write down what you want to ask it is so hard to think when you are finally getting "The Call". When Krista hung up the line I was some where between laughing and crying and You better believe trying to get into email. James at the point has come over to me patting me and telling me it is alright mama. Randy and I say a few words and all the while I am waiting to see Miahs face when he says to me " Oh she is Beautiful"... I start screaming... Wait Randy I cant see her... Why cant I see her.. Randy it wont work... the pictures wont come up... Then the screen flashed and in a blink of an eye I took the deepest breathe of my life. My daughter was there before my eyes the most adorable little girl in the world and she is mine. After that the first thing out of my mouth was "She is beautiful" followed directly by "LOOK AT THAT HAIR". I was in awe and after a few more words with Randy and telling James ... "This is sister" with him telling me "Yeah I know mama, it's ok" and still patting me trying with all his little might to calm me down, I hung up with Randy and called my mom right away. Randy had ended our conversation by saying he was on his way home.
I totally forgot to take pictures till the very end and then it was only one, but the video was good and I also remembered to give James his candy. When Randy got home we took James on the trip we had promised him for over a year now. To Build a Bear and he made a Bunny for sister and a bear for him, we went out to dinner at Cristina's Mexican restaurant and then came home to stare at her picture ( not that I wasn't staring at it the whole time we were out) and not get a wink of sleep. It was a day to remember and the phone call of a life time.
It is funny to look back and remember how many nights I lay awake and plan out the call in my head a hundred different ways, among the other things I dream about (like Forever Day) now it has come and gone and I still find it a little hard to believe that it actually happened and we are parents to a little girl half way around the world!!

Waiting for Miah in pictures

Waiting for Miah

If you click on the above it is the last twenty one months all rolled into a few pictures. Enjoy if you feel like it.

I 171 H update

I am so happy to put in writing that we have been approved for our 171 renewal !!! It was put in the mail today and I know this because last night a little bird called to tell me! I could not believe it, but due to the letter Randy submitted with our amendment the young lady at the USCIS office had mercy and wanted to let us know that all was well and we would have said precious doc. in hand by the end of the week. Finally some peace!! Now bring on the Ta's we are good to go!

Reality

It is a funny thing reality, we go through life and most of us feel that we are living in the moment and have a good grasp on reality. Then something small will through you for a loop and you realize your mind has wondered and you have been off in LaLa Land. OR... You get a wonderful dose of reality that you never thought would happen!!! That is what happened to me the other day ,reality came crashing in like a huge title wave and to tell you the truth I could not have been happier. I was talking to DH about packing for the trip and all the odds and ends that we would need to take care of on our list when Randy asked me where a certain item was and I said very casually " It is in Miah's room." Now I have said this many many times during our wait, in fact I have been calling our daughter by name for nearly two years now but in that moment in an instant when I said her name the most wonderful thing happened. In my minds eye I saw her face.... It was if the world halted for me and the reality of this beautiful child was so powerful I was stunned with silence. She is the one I have waited for, the one who's name I have spoken with love and anticipation. How I longed day after day to know who she was, just a glimpse of her and then suddenly in a moment I knew her. Now when I say her name I see a sweet baby in my mind and that is a reality I will never get tired of facing. You know when we got our referral I knew she was our daughter and I loved her but I do not think I let myself really grasp that this was not a fleeting thing. I think it took a while for this to really hit home and sink in. The wait had been so long with so many ups and downs and disappointment after disappointment that I was afraid a little to let go and be happy for fear of someone waking me up and telling me I was not there yet. Slowly it has come to hit me in a deep way. I mean don't get me wrong seeing Miah for the first time was full of Joy and love and one of the most wonderful moments of my life, but after the WOW moment is gone there is a little twinge of what now and is this really real type of thinking or at least for me there was. Oh I hope this makes since. Really I have just been in awe the last few days and I can not wait to hold her, I mean if the reality of her name connected to her pictures stuns me to silence, can you imagine what it will be like to hold her and actually love on my darling one. Oh I can hardly wait!!

I 171 Hell

Life as I know it has been not to fun as of late. The dreaded I 171 fairy has come up and bit me on the butt!!! I have been trying so hard to think positive and have faith that everything was going to be all right, and yeah I know it will in the long run, but for now I have a sore bum! You see we started renewing our 171 back in November and had trouble getting Update in a timely manner and was delayed about a week and a half which when you are counting every day is a big deal. Then we get every thing submitted only to find out that the Dallas office is transferring all work for I 171s to the Oklahoma office.... Lots of knots in my stomach over this but I took a deep breath and prayed it would all turn out ok. Nope I get the huge package in my mail box with Homeland Security on it... WHAT.... they had sent back our information and paperwork stating that we did not send enough money.. HMMM you mean the money for fingerprints that my dh checked about with our SW and agency more than once to make sure we were not suppose to send it in since our prints were current and are not due to expire anytime soon... Yep that is what they meant. Argggggg!!! Ok so we get it all fixed up and thank our lucky stars we noticed that we had to send it to the Dallas office?? and then they would send it on to Oklahoma??? Can you say Delay! But again I left it in fates hands praying every day that there would be lighting speed on this as we were already behind now and our paper work was sent in December 21st, you know with all the holidays that China does not observe. Well today I went to my mail box and saw a letter from Homeland Security thinking that this was it I was doing a happy dance back to my house only to crash and burn as I saw a purple letter and it did not NOT say 171. No in stead it list three things that our SW needs to amend. They are none of them big or hard to change but the fact that we could not get our 171 before TA is killing me when we did every thing we could to renew on time and make sure all our ducks were in a row. Come on I have wait a long time to see Miah's little face and now to be postponed in getting to her even longer than the Chinese New Year festivities we already are working around is just not fair. I know life is not fair but seriously I just want to curl up into a ball and cry my self to sleep. If you are reading this and you pray I could really use some prayer right now. I know it is in his hands but I also know he answers prayer!

Looking Back

It is a funny thing hind sight, the old saying is true it is 20/20 all the way. I was looking at my original blog to see what I was doing on the day Miah was born and even though there was not a post on that exact day I remember now a little better and am amazed at what I found. First my little neighbor Hayli turned five that day and she came over to play with my son. We also got the call that Randy's Grandmother had passed away in the night.... by all accounts with the information I have on Miahs finding, about the same time she came into the world his Grandmother left it. It was as spring usually is a whirlwind of activity and I was on the prowl for ladybugs. It was also the month that at the beginning of this adoption process I expected to see her little face, six months after our LID. Well that was my plan, but God had a totally different plan and in that time that I felt so hurt that it was taking for ever to get to her, she was just not ready yet. Oh the irony, how many time did I read and hear that advice in all the time I waited?? Now I see how very true it was. I had to wait and truth be told I would wait again. I still wait to hold her in my arms and as hard as it was to wait and see her face I must admit this side of the fence is even harder, but as I wrote this poem just seven days after my daughter was born I still would not change a thing. Here are the words that came form my heart when I did not know that a small baby girl lay in an orphanage just days old wait too, waiting for me.


Wait

Wait.
Month by month I wait.
Week by week I wait.
Day by day I wait.
Hour by hour I wait.
Moment by moment I wait.
Wait.
If there were end in sight I might take comfort, but the finish line is ever changing. There is not clarification, no knowing here and now only waiting.
Were I to have the choice to go back and decide to take a different path it would not matter for this is where my heart is and I would gladly choose this path again and some day I will look back on this time and know when the end will have been but now I wait.
It will be worth it, She will be worth it , that perfect child that was meant for only us. These words help but do not stop the ache of wait, just a little longer wait.
In the end I will forget the Laboring pains of love to bring her home to be the best mother I can, all the smiles, laughter and lifetime of firsts will take this ever pressing feeling of wait from me and life will go on. But now I wait.
My heart is heavy and my arms are empty, but it is not a permanent thing. To this I cling. I wait, but for what.... My daughter, joy, love, hope, happiness, and a family I have waited a lifetime for. So I will wait and even if it is not easy I will remember that I choose this wait for a purpose and a reason. It is out of love that I put myself through one of the hardest things I have ever endured and I wait to hold her but not to love her as I love her already. I wait.
Wait.
Written by Me for Miah

Still on Cloud Nine

Sill on cloud nine! Now however I feel like I am in a time warp.... I could have sworn that we had gone at least two weeks since we first saw Miah's little face, but no way... Only, well not even a week. Bummer. Oh I have plenty to do, not the least of which is get my house spring cleaned, yes I know it is not spring yet but I will be busy then and well frankly the weather right now out my window looks like spring!

We have finally come to an agreement on Miah's middle name... Elisabeth.... Miah Elisabeth..... I love it and DH is happy in a way becuse he choose it but he still really wanted to go with Jo.

Thank you Babe for making her name a little more to my liking too. Love ya!

Well I am off to finish packing the care package I have for Miah or to repack it I should say... I need a bigger box!

What I am doing now...

It has been two days since I first saw Miah and it seems as if I have always known her little face. I am so ready to hold and touch her, but the wait continues so now what to do with myself.... For starters I am reading every thing I can get my hands on about where she is and who is taking care of her. I am asking questions that I never even thought of during all of the months of waiting and let me tell you I had all kinds of lists. I am wearing new holes in my carpet from walking back and forth to see her picture... I finally wised up and printed several copies and placed them around the house. I had picked up James' copy of his sister and he went nuts on me telling me that was his picture and not to touch it... SORRY! I have been sorting through clothes and trying to decide what really will fit and what will not.... still not to sure about that. Thinking a hundred times an hour that it really happened, I got my referral and across the world is this beautiful little girl I will call my own, love and cherish oh and spoil rotten.

I have put in notice with my boss ( my next door neighbor whom I nanny for) and am a little sad about not having Bella everyday, I have taken care of her since she was six weeks old and she turned 15 months today. I know it is for the best I want to devote my time to Miah and with James homeschooling I need to keep it all as simple as possible and two babies who are(or may be) clingy will be a little much. At least she will be right next door and I can see her when ever I want.

We are still trying to decide on a middle name for our darling and It has become a real debate in our home. I am wanting more graceful middle name and my Dh wants Joe as the middle name.

Ok I am rambling so I will end this now with the thought that right now My little one has turned ten months in China today.... Hold on baby I am coming.

We Have A Baby Girl

We are overjoyed with the news of our daughter... Introducing Jiang Ai Tu

DOB: March 07, 2006

Weight at five months was 14.9 lbs ,height was 60 cm

She is in Chongqing Municipality

We will call Miah (Mia)

I will post more soon but for now we are over the moon!

The Stork Has Landed

Well it is not a secret to most in the adoption world that referrals are coming in. We are waiting for ours sometime today as the stork has made its way to GWCA. Now the real nail biting begins as every stray noise has me jumping for the phone.... Info to come asap!

It is almost time

I am so nervous just typing this, but it seems that referrals are starting to come in around the world. This is it, we are finally going to see Miah and know who and where she is. I am so overwhelmed right now that I really have no idea what to do or think. It is like all this time waiting was just a blur and here we are on the brink of something so profound and wonderful and I just can not think clearly. I guess I should make sure the batteries are charged in my camerae and maybe I should get ready and look nice so the pictures do not scare anyone, and maybe I should put out a pen that writes and my list for the call. I need to call my mom so she can get here but right this very moment I am just going to let it sink in that we are going to be parents again and this is the moment I have been waiting for over four years now.
THIS IS IT!!!!