Time

Time is a funny thing. Some days you just want it to hurry up and fly by so you can get to that next big thing. You know the one your whole life hinges on... waiting for your wedding day, waiting for your child to come home, or the next holiday , vacation or day off. It is normal and every one I know wishes time would speed up just a little once in a while. Now I would give almost anything for time to stop. Right here and now and never change. I wish with all my heart I could go back in time and warn my family that I could somehow change what we are facing now. I look at a carton of milk and the expiration date makes me sad. I think about James going into third grade and how quickly this summer will fly by. That alone sends me into a deep dispare. I hate seeing movie trailers that say come in blah blah blah. They all remind me of the one thing he does not have enough of TIME. We all face the truth that life is short and we all must take a final breath at some point in our lives, but for most of us we flash on the thought and then shake it off feeling that, that day is a long way off in our future or we say You never know when so why worry about it. What if you did know or you were given a time line... How would you view time then. That is where I am at, viewing time as the enemy who will very soon take my daddy away. He is only 56 and yet ...We are not promised tomorrow.
My dad is really sick and it is that ugly word so many of us have heard to many times, Cancer. Lung cancer to be specific and it is in stage four meaning it has spread through out his body. We are told that with out Chemo he has two to four months to live and with treatment we may have him for ten to twelve months if his body can handle it. Every breath he takes is a labor for him and I haft to tell you even though the signs were there early my dad just pressed on and continued to work hard not telling anyone the amount of pain he was in. Just a good ole boy doing what he needed to do for his family. In fact he had a heart attack and did not tell anyone and due to lack of insurance he never sought medical attention. DAD!! My dad had several sever attacks at night where he thought he was dying before he allowed my mom to finally take him to the doctor. He has lost his strength fast, in a matter of a few months his weight dropped over 50 pounds and still he was giving it all he had.
Now what, how do we get through this. I know we will and we will make the best of all the time we have. It hurts, it sucks and I hate it. I do not know how to tell my son or daughter, what is the right thing to say and when to say it. Time... I need more ... He needs more. I love you daddy and I am so very sorry that you are facing this horrible thing.

Reflections... I heart Faces

So Last Night James lost his tooth!!! This is such a big deal for us as it has been over a year since he lost his first bottom two front teeth and this tooth has been wiggly for over six months... go figure. Any way this is James checking out the new look and I could not help but capture it. I angled a second mirror behind him to get multiple images, and used him as a shield from showing me in the shot. If you want to see more great photo be sure and click on the button up top... it will take you to some great talent and really fun photos!

self-Portrait

This week at Iheartfaces the theme is self portraits. Well I went for it and took lots of close up pictures of me right after I had been crying my eyes out. Yeah not so glamours, but I am going to scrap this later and the story behind my crying is what I wanted to capture. I had been watching a show and a father and son had passed away due to tragic events. This type of thing brings a flood of emotion to my heart and I start checking on my children and telling Randy over and over how much I love him and that I never want to lose him. I am sensitive that way, as I am sure many other moms are, but for me I take it on with such a heavy heart that I grieve as if the lost ones were mine. Randy does his best to sensor me from things that will have me in emotional over load , but there is always something he missed bless his big heart! Any way I want to scrap about that and how it is part of who I am and that it makes me want to keep those I love close to me and never miss the chance to say I Love YOU!

This picture was taken in Manual Mode... Not so easy when you can not focus! Also the only editing was black and white conversion and leaving my eye blue... all other personal flaws in all their glory are present! Thank you for looking and please be sure and check out the other really awsome photos at I Heart Faces... You can click on the button above, and as always if you click on the picture it will enlarge for you to see better.

Daughters

The mamarazzi blog theme this month is Daughters, and well that happens to be one of my favorite subjects to capture... My daughter. I am still just a fledgling at taking pictures but I did try Manual Mode on the top photo I wish I could give you all the details, but try as I might I can not seem to figure out where to find it. I can tell you I use a Nikon D40 and I used the 18-55 mm lens. The bottom Photo is a picture of my daughter and my best friends daughter and I love the way Bree's eyes just pop. This was taken with the girls sitting in the open door way with the bright light not quite reaching them... also in Manual Mode with the same lens.

If you want to see more amazing and very talented mamas please click on the above button and I promise you will be amazed. Thank you for coming by.

Oh and as always if you want a better look at the photos all you haft to do is click on them and they will enlarge.

I heart Faces Entry Amateurs Entry

Miah really had a blast this year with three egg hunts, but the one at my parents home was by far the most eggciting! Now that she understands what is in the eggs and that if her brother gets to all of them first she won't get the prizes, she is getting in the game and really going after them. So fun!!!
If you want to see more great shots of Easter fun or Spring shots please be sure and head over to Iheartfaces

Secrets

In a moment they will be grown and I will miss this.

I heart Faces Entry

I am just learning about photography and how to utilize my Nikon D40, but I could not help but add this picture to the I Heart Faces blog ... Miah Pouting for the camera is nothing new but this shot of her hamming it up just a bit just tickles me! Want to see more great faces???

You should take the time to look at all the wonderful pictures there and such awsome talent. Thanks for stoping by!

Black and White photo

This is my new favorite of Miah... that is until the next time I take a few pictures! I added this to a like with some really awsome pictures at...

Please stop by there and take a look, and in the mean time I hope you enjoy this picture!

Gotcha Day!!! Two years!!!

I just wanted to share a LO I did (digital) for Miahs secound Gotcha day which is today...YEAH!!! We are so very blessed to have this beautiful little girl in our lives and greatful to China for allowing us to raise and love her. She is everything we could have asked for and so very much more, God truely did bless this family with Miah! I have used a kit by my friend Kelly and if you would like to use it she has it put up on her site as a freebie with lots of others freebies that are just wonderful so be sure and check it out...

Gotcha Day... Two years!!! 3-5-09

Photos taken yesterday and today

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Blogging Bum

Ok I am so sad to see that my challenge to my self went by the way side when it came to blogging! It seems that in the midst of all the drama with James and then Miah being sick , Re being sick, and then me being sick I just totally lost site of that goal. Oh well maybe I will try it again soon.

However I have been keeping up with my scrapbooking goal and have a few more to add here today and it will almost get me to my goal of 10... Enjoy!

Day 5&6: Drama... No I mean Trama & LO's

Day 6 First... I am working backwards here! So as you can see by the pictures I have been working on my LO challenge to myself... and I have even had a friend join me!! So make sure you check out Robin and her LOs as well. Ok here are three more LOs and then there is one not posted here since I went out on a limb and entered it into a small contest here... On the Hop. That brings my total to 6 so far and look I am only on day 6!!! I think I am going to make it!

LO 1: This is not my favorite, but I decided to go ahead and keep it.

LO2: This is James at three 1/2 and dancing his little heart out! Simple design but fun!

LO3: I really love the b/w and Color Photo together and this is so easy to do, Just print your photo the same size in color and b/w then crop the color photo, and add to the b/w!

Day 5...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

We interrupt your daily life with an emergency broad cast.... Thunk ????

MOMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

My heart stops in my chest. It is the moment you know your baby is hurt. Not just the "My sister hit me" or the " I skinned my Knee" kind of hurt, but the really really I am in PAIN kind of hurt. I literally can not tell you what I was doing at that moment, all I know is that I ran from the kitchen in time to see James running into the living room with a look of pure pain and horror on his face. This is when mere seconds seem like hours, the moment between where your mind runs wild with what it could be and the reality of what really happened. Asking a child anything when they are really in pain is like talking to the ocean... Lots of noise but no sense. I finally got that he had hit his ear, I mean the fact that it took all of one second to See that it was already swelling was enough to get me going. So I went to hold him and he was just so confused on what he really wanted that he would not let me touch him ( be still my heart) he asks or more chants " just give me my blanket " a few times. So I rush to get it as at this point I will do anything to comfort my baby! As soon as I come back around the corner to see James I knew it was going to be a trip to the ER. His ear was flowing blood and at first I thought it was from inside. He would not let me look at it closely and did not really want the blanket at all. James was in so much pain he really did not know what he wanted. Thus he began to wail for daddy... another heart breaker, and I softly talk him into letting me see what is wrong and lead him to the kitchen for a towel for his ear that is getting blood everywhere now. Finally after much debate I see that his little ear has been split almost all the way through and the cartilage is sticking out... (EWWWW) After a few rushed calls to his daddy and a quick stop to drop Miah off at her Aunts we were on our way. We went to an Urgent Care Clinic, but just a side note here as we now know that can not help you if there is cartilage involved. So we were sent on to the emergency room where they called in a specialist to fix James up. He was really great through the waiting and most of the stitches, but when the Doc went to numb his ear James pulled the needle out and was strong enough to keep his daddy and the Doc from keeping him still. Eventually the Doctor talked him into relaxing and the stitches, four in all, were put in place. James is ok and seems to have no pain in his ear,and the stitches come out Monday if all goes well. I am however suffering every time I hear the slightest bump and I am finding that I say be careful about ten times an hour. Here is a look at his stitched up ear.

Day four: Just my Luck

Why is it every time I find a product I really like there is always a hang up?? Guess that is just my luck. Miah will turn three in a few weeks and I have been planing her birthday party and trying to get her a few gifts ( even if I really can not believe she will be three already!!), I say trying to get her a few gifts because I have had the most aggravating time finding what I want!
First of all we are getting her a power wheels, but DH is very picky and has certain ideas as to what she should have. After much searching, deliberating and me getting worn out we came to a decision on this cool Pink Barbie Kawasaki four wheeler that according to Wal*mart is only available at their online site... it is an exclusive to their store. Ok I can deal with that, I mean they do ship site to store with no additional charge and I do not need the product today so I can handle that. So I am all ready with CC to purchase said item, I mean it only took a couple of weeks to find something Randy would allow and wouldn't you know it there is no such item listed on the online site! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Let me just say " Not Happy". Well to cut a long story short I did a lot of web searching and a lot of phone calling. You know the kind of phone calling where one company (F*isher Price) tells you to talk to the other company ( W*almart) as they have the contract and then that company (W) tells you to speak to the first company as they make the product ... Round one....2...almost three but I decided that I was done!!!! So a few days go by and I decide to look at the products from W online one more time to see if just maybe I can convince Randy to go with another toy when low and behold there is the coveted item in all its glory on the site and in stock.... Go figure! Well that items has been safely ordered and now I am in yet another hassle with yet another product from FP. I want to get Miah the Cool School system to reinforce her learning of numbers letters and shapes but the software I want to go with it is NO WHERE TO BE FOUND! GRRRRR
So if you happen to come across Cool School Sesame Street software Please give me a shout out!! I have searched every nook and cranny of online and not a title to be found. Oh well that is just my luck!

Day Three: four Things about me

Well It is Sunday and as usual this is a busy day in the morning and a Lazy afternoon. I have decided to list four things about me for this post... Just for fun, and the fact that I am trying to stick to my thirty days of blogging.

1. I love to sing, and am always humming or singing some song. However one of my favorite things to do is belt out a tune while I am cleaning house. When I say belt out, I mean singing with all my might at the top of my lungs with all the soul I can muster. Well this has been fine for a very long time... Funny how kids change EVERYTHING... So there I was minding my own business singing my song as I loaded the dishwasher totally unaware that my son has decided to play in the back yard with a few of his friends ( with his dads permission). I am going to town dancing and just being in my zone when I hear snickering. Hmmmm, so I turn and five pair of eyes are watching me intently. BIG SIGH HERE! Caught in mid step of what I call dancing and my song abruptly ended I realize that to my seven year old son this if the funniest thing ever. Now mind you he has seen me do this a million times, but to get his friends in on the action of his crazy mom was too cool. GREAT!! Oh by the way they love my singing... my dancing, not so much!

2. I love to read, I read as much as I can and have been known to go through a entire novel in about four hours. My all time favorite next to the Word is Anne of Green Gables. Some new books I really like include the Twilight series and by the same author Stephenie Meyer The Host... that book is a real mind bender and I loved every page. I also enjoy the Eragon series and the Summer Hill books about a young girl who live just outside of an Amish community.

3. Scrapbooking is a passion as well as a therapy for me. I find it to be relaxing but more than that it reminds me of why I love my family especially if I have had a hard time with one of them or just a bad day in general. It is my moment to tell the story and to show the reasons why I love my family, how I love them and that I will always love them.

4. I hate doing laundry. I know that I have heard from several friends and relatives that if I would just do a load a day I would not have such a mountain all the time. I have tried this and it just does not work for me. If I could just get the task done it would not be such a big deal, but since I haft to wait for them to wash then wait for them to dry then fold and at last put them away, I just get wrapped up in other things and by the time I get back to it I am to tired to mess with it. Yep I hate laundry.

Day two: Cleaning House

I made it! Not really much to post today as I am in cleaning mode and must take advantage of that while I can, but first I wanted to recomend a really great movie that is just now out on DVD...

It is called Fireproof and let me tell you it has a wonderful message. If you have time to curl up with your honey for some popcorn and a show this one is worth the time!

And now for the cuteness... then off to clean,

Can you belive the weather... One day it is all sunny, then all ice, and now all sunny again talk about chaos! Here is my guy enjoying a warmer day!Miah is also enjoing a bike ride... Finally almost a year later she can reach the pedals!

Day One: Battles and LOs

I am off to a good start. Day one of thirty and here I go...

I am up or at least I think I am up in time... Until I realize that the alarm clock has never gone off and it was a dream. I just hate that , now I am in a rush this morning and have the jitters since I jumped up as soon as I saw my rebellious clock reading thirty minutes later than I thought. My son is NOT a morning person and so I must tread lightly to avoid a fight and rushing him is OUT of the question or we are talking total melt down mode, and I have not got the patience nor the time first thing in the morning for that. So the balancing act begins.

It took me a while to figure out that when mom my told me to "pick my battles" she was right.

I mean I am the mom and he is the child so he should do what I say right?? Well just because he should does not mean he will . In fact just like every child he has his moments and refuses to listen or be obedient, so I am learning to read HIM and make sure I do not start a fight over the small stuff that really is not that important. In other words I try not to set him up. This has been hard for me, when I was little I was a very compliant child. I never asked why and rarely tried to go against anything my mom said. I hated conflict... still do, and I was trying to parent James in that way ... expecting him to be like me and just do what I say. He is not me and I can not parent him the way I was parented... Wow, as a parent you must be flexible... You know "pick your battles".

So what might that look like? For starters, if I am in a hurry in the morning I let James make a choice on what he wants for breakfast instead of just choosing for him like usual. See in this home you eat what you get and are happy to have it or you do not eat. James will not eat if he feels rushed in the morning. BIG BATTLE! To me it is not worth fighting him to eat what I give him first thing in the morning if we are in a hurry so if I let him choose then he feels empowered with the choice and does not fight me. I feel that he has a good start to the day and a full belly. WIN, WIN!!!

I know, simple concept huh?? Well it took me a while to figure out that parenting can be flexible and still have structure. Do not get me wrong, I am not a drill Sergent or anything like that, but I did feel like if I did not have complete obedience I was doing something wrong or that if I do not nip it in the bud now that as he became a teenager he would never listen to me. I know now that listening and watching his needs and learning style gets me far greater respect with him and then when it is time to put my foot down he knows that I mean it. We still have battles but they are ones that I feel are important life lessons. Weather he has oatmeal or a cereal bar?? That is not as important as weather he has a decent breakfast to get him through the day.

Now for my secound goal... I finished not one but two LOs yester day!!! So fun!

This is my mom and Miah and some of my favorite pictures! Here I sanded down the pink paper to give it an uneven rough look... Great for taking out a little frustration!

This is James in January of 05! Just 3 1/2 years old... My little buddy!

Going on

Well here I am again posting for the first time in a long while. So I thought I would challenge myself... For the next thirty days I plan to blog once a day. Now mind you it may not be note worthy to any one else but at least I will be blogging and hopefully get myself back in the habit!

So today I am blogging about scrapbooking and another challenge for me to complete... I want to get 10 pages done in the next thirty days and boy that is going to a hard one for me. So here I go .... Oh but before I do let me leave you with a picture of my darlings!

With the little snap of actual winter weather here in Tx and no school my two kidlets have had some extra playtime together and I would haft to say that a great deal of that time I am wanting to pull out my hair as they scream, fight, chase each other around the house and are just generally loud and bouncing off the walls. However the little moments like this cuddle session make it all worth it and bring the biggest smile to my face. James invited Miah to get a little warmer under his coveted blanket as they watched a little tv together. He almost could not get her close enough.... How darling are they!!

Now on to scrapbooking, I have let it get way out of hand. Yep I am so far behind that I will never get caught up if I try and do it the way I had my mind set on doing it. So I am changing my strategy.... I am going to go back and scrap at least one page from each month of the last several years for James and the last two years for Miah. Instead of trying to scrap every thing I will limit myself to my favorite photo or to a special memory for each month up until now. Seeing as I already have some pages done for certain months I am not going to allow them to be placed in my catch up.... No I am starting two new chronological albums for the kids and when they are done I will just add on from there. Now I know me and I LOVE to scrap my latest favorite photo so I will allow myself to do one "new" Photo for every four older Photos and that will keep me motivated. So here is hoping my challenge will get me started in the right direction and I will keep you up to date on how well I do... till then here is one of my latest pages....

Craigs List Post ** Blog friends Please Excuse

This is a post I am doing on Craigs list to try and unload all of Miahs old clothes as they are taking up to much space!!

Need a new wardorobe for your little Princess, but not wanting to pay an arm and a leg... This is for you.There are 87 pieces of gently used mostly 18 month (eception would be one or two 12 month gymboree items that will fit an average child wearing 18 month clothing) clothing. Dresses, overalls, Shorts, skirts PJs and shirts, it is all here and Brands are Gymboree,Childrens Place, Oshkosh, Old Navy, Carters,and then a few from Kohls, Target and Walmart. Not all items are shown in the pictures... They just would not fit but they are pants and Pjs. They come from a smoke free home and I am willing to meet you in Little Elm or Frisco if need be. I accept CASH only, NO exceptions, Please do not ask. Also my price is FIRM, you will be getting a great deal as each piece of clothing comes in at .58 cents each.If you are intrested and/or have any questions please contact 99999999999. Thank you for looking.
To get a better look at the clothes please go to http://www.miahmiahmiah.blogspot.com/

Referral Day Two years come and gone

Two years ago today I sat with much anticipation for the call of a lifetime. I remember clearly all the hope and dreams that hung on that call and what is more what that call would mean. After waiting almost two years I would finally know... Know who my daughter was, where she was and what she looked like. It was the most important phone call I have ever received!!! The moment I heard the words " You have a daughter" my life was changed forever. Now as Miah is sleeping in her room it seems like the wait was just a dream and the pain of it has gone, BUT I know that there are many moms and dads who are just barley hanging on with the wait. It has gotten longer and longer and the finish line for them is ever changing and more often than not getting further away instead of closer. My heart and prayers are with you and I want to encourage you to hold on. The day WILL come and your phone WILL ring. The pain of the wait will someday be a distant heart ache and you will be taking pictures and changing diapers, fixing up boo boos and reading stories to that little angel your waiting for now. I remember seeing Miah for the first time and boy was my heart stolen then, funny thing is now she stills it on a daily basis and I am amazed at all the wonderful and not so wonderful things this little girl can come up with. She is really a treasure and OH SO WORTH THE WAIT! This was taken a few days ago.... My little Fairy tale come true!



Here is the first photo I saw of my darling little angel!