PB & J

I am so proud of my little man. He has accomplished another first in his life, and was rewarded with a great lunch. Yep that is right James has successfully made his first PB & J. I was going to make lunch and the next thing I know James has taken the bread out of my hand saying " I will do it". I must admit my first thought was what a mess that would be, but wiser thoughts prevailed and I realized that he is really getting to be such a big boy and this is just another first in the raising of a child. Besides that is what cleaning products are for and a mess never hurt anyone. So in all his glory he created his master piece and I dutifully took a few pictures of the momentous occasion.

Looking Back

I was inspired today by another blogger to go back and look at some of my older scrapbook pages and so I thought I would share. Yesterday I sat down and just looked at the books (many books) I have done for James in his five years of life and I am pretty far behind right now, about a year and a half behind with some things ughhhh! Well as I looked at these pages I just wanted to cry. I thought he was such a big boy here when really he was still such a baby. He is my first and I was caught up in making sure he was always ahead of the game like rolling over as early as possible and sitting and crawling and walking.... WHAT was I thinking! I wish the baby moments did not go by so fast and if I had it to do all over again I would RELAX and just enjoy him more. Maybe not try to make him a big boy so fast. I know with Miah I am going to just slow down and take time with the little things, and I am starting to do that with James now too. I want him to be a little kid and embrace childhood, now do not get me wrong I am by no means a stuffy mom I let him play, but I also expect a lot from him and sometimes it is really more than I should. I mean he is only five and it is in his nature to be messy, loud and whinny at times and I find myself telling him "your not a baby, don't do such and such" when really I just need to relax a little more and enjoy the moment.
Enjoy the pictures and check back soon as I am going to load a few just finished pages here in a bit.

The silver Lining/ Ten month LID

I took this picture a few weeks ago and now as I look at it I am hopeful. More so than I have been in months I just can not help it. To tell the truth even if I crash and burn from being up in the clouds right now it is worth it. I need this refreshing change from all the monthly doom and gloom, something to look forward to instead of dread. You know like looking forward to seeing my daughters face before the end of the year instead of dreading the wait for another nine months. Ahhh the silver lining is so sweet.... I really do think that the CCAA has always had some type of master plan to keep the wait to around 12 months and it is now starting to come into focus. With our 9/12 LID that means we could actually see our daughters face in Sept. but I really feel it will be OCT. Either way I will be over the moon as I had such despair feeling like it would not happen till next march.

So I am celebrating today. Celebrating that we have survived the wait for ten months not counting all the previous waiting with the paperchase and so on. To day IS a good day , I am going to enjoy it and be happy!

In a Moment

Have you ever watched something happen that was totally out of your control and yet it seemed to be moving in slow motion. Well James took a nose dive off the two inch step on our front entrance and as I turned I saw him fly through the air, hit the concrete and then roll onto his back. As you can see in the picture above he hit the concrete with his face first. Not a thing I could do but pick him up, cuddle him and tell him he would be ok. However I was not ok, no in fact I was shaken to the core! As a parent I am always saying be careful, watch out, slow down, don't run, and a million other phrases all in order to keep him safe, but in a moment with out warning things can happen no matter how careful I am and that is scary.... Very scary to me!!
Randy and I joke about wanting to put him in a bubble, we know it is impossible but still how do you keep them safe and not smother them at the same time? This was really a minor thing and I am grateful for that, in fact James is all healed up now with the exception of a small scar that will all but fade away in the coming days. I guess I am writing this to remind myself to cherish every moment and to be on guard!

Happy Birthday James

Five years ago today my dream of becoming a mom came true. I have written about our story before and if you would like to read it you can find it on our home page under James' story.

It hardly seems like he should be two let alone five and I am just amazed that he is ours. James is one bright, amazing little guy with a love for life and an ability to make others smile uncontrollably. We love you son!

This page to the left is the day we brought him home and it is a tribute to his adoption the words read :
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mother. I have dreamed and prayed for the moment I would hold a beautiful baby in my arms and eventually I began to beg and cry out to God for the child I yearned for not understanding why it was taking years to conceive. Seven years I waited for you and God did answer my prayer with the most perfect child for me. I did not carry you in my womb but in my heart. My struggle to get pregnant was only the road that lead me to where you are and I would not change that for all the world. Adopting you is the reason God made me wait. You are my special gift and even more precious to me than I could ever imagine... I love you My James now and Forever you will be my Baby Mine.
http://www.geocities.com/rfordtuff@sbcglobal.net/

We are so blessed with our son that I can not even imagine how much more wonderful our world will be when we bring Miah home. Twice the birthdays will be so great.... I can not wait!!!

From a baby to a big boy just like his daddy. Now James is into remote controlled cars and the Cars movie. He loves bubble gum and tormenting our dogs. His favorite food is tomatoes and pickles. He hates to be woken up in the morning (yep he's my kid) and he sticks his tongue out when he is really concentrating ( just like his daddy) see photo!
Five wonderful years ..... I love you James!

The Fourth of July for Us

Fourth of July this year came and went with no fire crackers or sparkler for us this year, and I missed them! However there was lots of family fun and a few suprises along the way.

As we pulled up to James' GreatGrandFathers home in Log Cabin Tx we were greeted by four baby armadillos. They were to young to be aggressive and to dumb to be scared so we got to get up close and personal with them, I even reached out to touch them and they just continued to root for bugs and go about their business as if we were just a part of the scenery. James was not sure what to think and took it all in moment by moment. I think the kicker for him was when one of them decided to figure out what my camera was and walked right up to me and sniffed my lens. James kept a pretty good distance from then on.

James was again out numbered by little girls, it seems every where we go he is the only little boy around. Today he was in the company of his cousins one of which we were newly introduced to and are so glad to finally know. Samantha and Hailie were a blast and both Hams for the camera. All three of the kids are within a year of each other so they a wonderful time playing and just being kids.

It is wonderful to know that they will grow up in a land that is FREE. They will have opportunities to pursue anything they choose and the right to speak their minds. They are full of raw potential to achieve the unimaginable and this land is fertile ground for their imaginations. Thank you America for being the home we love and hold so dear. May you continue to flourish and grow as a Nation.

Almost....

They made it through the 28th..... Hey that is great news and I am thrilled for all the families who will be united with their families this coming week. Congrats to you all.

We have been busy with summer life here in our home. My niece came for a week and we were hardly home at all. Our agenda consisted of :

!. Hawaiian Falls Water park
2. Grapevine Mill Mall Outlet shopping
3. The Cars Movie
4. The Shaggy Dog Movie
5. Six Flags Theme Park
6. Lots of Swimming

Followed up by a weekend full of activities and Family fun.
James participated in the end of season Baseball parade and got to throw candy at complete strangers. It was in a word HOT!!! But worth it to see his little face light up when it was his turn to get his first trophy at the end of season ceremony. The hard part is my camera died after my first shot of the parade and now I am relying on others for photos..... Ughhhh! Then we had a church picnic and that was a total blast too. I came with a cooler full of food I had made for our family and a guest just in case as per instructions given at the previous service. Well when we get there most every one else had stopped at Taco Bell or KFC on the way to the park for their lunch. I felt really silly carrying out the big cooler and all my dishes but I bet you ten to one we ate better than anyone else there.

Fathers day for our family was full of church, Mexican food, and some good ole video fun. I got in mucho trouble with my mom because I did not call my dad early enough and he had already gone to bed. Give me a little credit here mom, when I talked to dad he said he had gone to bed at 5. No fair!! I did however call him the next morning so all is forgiven and I remain the loyal loving daughter I have always been.

This weekend I have gotten a few more scrap pages done so I will end this post with one of my latest designs... Let me know if you like it.

What goes up MUST come down

Ok so I am seeing a few rumors that say we may actually get through the end of June this month and I am Leary. However I am going to cling to the old saying What goes up must come down(I am totally disregarding that is is ment for gravity). There has got to be a ray of light some time and why not this month?

Nine Months

Wow I have not posted in a while... Hmmm, I knew I had gotten busy but I had not realized how busy till now.

Well today CCAA has had our paperwork logged in for nine months. We are in the matching room with no clue how many months are ahead of us, and James has stopped asking about Miah. That makes me sad. He just does not understand why it is taking so long and I think he feels we made it all up or she is like Santa Clause and he is never suppose to see her. I know it will all work out ok I just wished we would have waited a little longer to let him know that we were going to adopt his little sister.

Nine months.... Seems like such a long time, and a blink of an eye all at the same time, I hope that the next possible nine months of waiting go by with joy and fun with James and quickly when it comes to the ache in my heart for Miah!




This picture of James is almost two years old but it is really how I feel today... Ready to go!

A boy and his dad

This is my family, my guys! Now I have got to tell you that I love this picture so much. James looks so much like his daddy that it gives me goose bumps. If you did not know it you would more than likely never guess that he was adopted at birth which has been the big topic around our house as of late. We know when Miah gets home people will "see" that she is adopted and will more than likely ask lots of questions and make comments good bad or indifferent, but James has never had to deal with that. How do we handle it and do we tell people who ask about Miahs adoption that our son is adopted too. Will James feel a sense of jealousy that her adoption is so obvious and that will lead to more attention to her. Will he love the anonymity or want others to know that he too was chosen and sought after. How will Miah feel when she is older and knows her big brother is never approached about his adoption and she is. I guess time, a lot of prayer, and listening to the kids will be the only answers to these and many more questions. For now I will just enjoy the last few Blast ball games with James and dream of bringing Miah home soon!
By the way this is James' fist season of Ball and he did such a wonderful job! I am so proud of my boy and his Daddy. He stepped up to the plate unexpectedly and became a coach.... How cool are you Dad! These are special memories that I will never forget!

No Reason for the picture other than I love it and wanted to share.

Referrals are on the way and I am sure anyone reading this already knows that they are only going through the 15th of June this time around. I guess it is better than Just five days, but I am really really hoping things speed up a little! It seems that James will be in College before we get Miah.

On to other things, My darling hubby got me a really cool gift and I can not wait to get it here. If you get a chance to see this book I know you will love it too. It is called A Day in the Life of China and it comes from a series of books put out in the eighties. In a twenty four hour period they had several photographers go out and take pictures all over China and then published the best of them in this book. It will take your breath away. There are only 100,000 copies in circulation and it is a little hard to find a new book, but you should be able to find it at a local library and I know that there are some on Ebay and the like. Check it out if you get the chance.

Thirty something and bad rumors

This is a self scrap page. I had just turned thirty and I was feeling really down. I am now thirty one and can not wait to be thirty two... Then all ageing can cease as far as I am concerned. Why is thirty two ok you ask. Well when I reach this age Miah will me with me. I refuse absolutely refuse to even consider the notion that it will take any longer than that to have my daughter home and in my arms! Now I have got to tell you that even that is pushing it a bit far, I really want her home before Christmas but with all the doom and gloom reporting going on and the ever slowing of referrals I will be lenient and concede to March for our first mother daughter moments but that is it not one day more! Ok I know I can not control the outcome of this and I know that no amount of stamping my feet and screaming into my pillow will get me my way. However a really good temper tantrum feels good and I need it so I am wailing away.
Well my rotten mood is a combination of bad horrible no good rumors and a very bitter sweet mothers day. Do not get me wrong being a mom to James is wonderful and I am so proud and honored to have that role in my life, but I also had a few sad moments on mothers day too. We fully expected to be bringing Miah home this month and as any one connected with China adoptions know that dream was taken away a piece at a time month by month. Then our music directors whom we all love and adore announced on mothers day they are expecting to the congregation. Please understand I am thrilled for them and have been waiting for this for some time. I wish them love and happiness and all the good tidings you can imagine, but... BUT I know that it is more than likely they will be bringing this little bundle of joy home before I even see Miahs face for the first time and that just stung a little. I am not in any way trying to take anything away from there joy I would never do that, I love them and are so happy that this is happening for them, but for me watching on the sidelines while she is lavished with "only pregnant mother special attention" and I sit not knowing when I will even see my child is a little hard and I am a little sad and let me just say feeling "sorry for myself". I know that it will take a couple weeks to get over this and I will get over it. I am not the envious type and I would never wish anyone to go through what I have to become a parent but when I see this over and over again and with the bad rumors of much more waiting in my future I am just over whelmed with yucky feelings. Tomorrow is a new day I will try to be a better person again tomorrow.

Original Blog

If you are checking out this blog for the first time I wanted to let you know I have been blogging about our Journey to Miah for a year now and only recently started up this blog. To see the beginning check out My Original Blog www.hisgirlre.blog.com
I would love to know if you have stopped by so please leave me a comment even if to just say Hi I was here. Thank you so much.

So Proud of You

This was my little mans first day of pre school and seems like just yesterday we were loading him up and taking him to meet his teacher. Not with out getting that ever present candid shot of him. So cute and so little ,cut to the present and he is graduating.... Ok just preschool but I swear if time keeps moving like this with him I better never lay down to sleep again or I will miss it all. So fast it went and I can hardly believe some of the changes he has gone through in the last year and watching him up on stage last night at his graduation was the evidence of that. He sang and and spoke in the mic. as well as showed of his ABC book he had worked on all year. He showed off special arts and crafts with such joy that I just had to laugh. As proud and as happy as I am at all he has accomplished I am also a little sad that he will no longer be a pre-schooler the last baby phase in my eyes, but an actual school aged child going out in to the big world with out mommy for more than a couple days a week for a few hours. Nope in less than four months he will start kindergarten. I love you James and am so proud of you, just please do not grow up to fast!

Weekend Whirlwind

Lately for our household the weekends have been a virtual storm of activity. We keep trying to fit a weeks worth of "need to do" into two days along with our regular schedule, and at this point I do not see a free weekend for about two more months. It is pretty sad when you actually look forward to Monday morning for a break... YIKES! In the end I know it will be worth it, but the reason we are scrambling to keep up is because Randy has been doing massive overtime and double time to bring in some extra cash. He is trying to get us completely away from credit cards. Now we have not really used our cards in some time, but now he wants to get them completely out of the house. Not sure I will ever go for that, I like know if we have an emergency that they are there. However right now Randy has us paying cash for any items large or small. If we have the cash we can have it if we don't so sorry not going to happen. Now we have really worked hard to keep our credit good and not go into major debt, but he feels there is an even better way to handle our fiance status. Ok I will try. So now he has been working really really hard so that we can get some big ticket items on our list of needs and wants before Miah gets home. One of the items is a swing set for James that I really wanted him to have and I know Miah will get lots of use out of it too. So we have added one more thing to our weekend to do list and I a beat! I will just keep telling myself it is worth it!

The Stork has landed at GWCA and left 21 families very happy this month! Congrats to all who have become new mom's and daddies this go around and here is wishing you a speedy TA, and CA!!

Now that we finally get to say a farewell to the month of May LIDs I a hoping that June will go pretty quickly and we will see a speed up! We will see Right now I am just very grateful to be out of the Review room and knowing that the next time someone looks at our Paperwork they will be matching us to our daughter.

A year in the making

( This is James at two, I just love that he is holding the world. Who would have guessed how true this would be for us!)


A year ago today Randy and I came to the decision that we wanted to adopt again. We had started infertility work ups and were on the path to in vitro thinking that is what each of us wanted. I was doing it for Randy, I felt like I needed to do everything in my power to give him a child biologically. The truth is I just wanted another child and really adoption would have been my first choice at this point even though in the past I truly wanted to give birth. I knew how much adopting James had changed our lives and that birthing a child is not the only way to be a mother in fact it takes a whole lot more than giving birth to be a mom. Not that I would mind if I ever become pregnant, it is just not as important as it once was. Now the funny thing is Randy was going through with the infertility work ups because he thought that it was I wanted most of all, hmmmm ? Well one night out of the blue we started talking and it all came out that what we both desired was to enlarge our family and adoption for us is the answer and what we want. What is more we both believe with all our hearts it is what God has for our family and every time I look at James or hear him laugh I know just how perfect Gods plan really is, He knew from the start what would be our perfect family and I have no doubt that Miah will be everything we could possibly want in daughter and more. The call to China has been in my heart for a long time and Randy and I knew from a young age that we would adopt weather we had bio children or not so to me this is just more evidence that the Lord had already carved out our family and we just needed to catch up to it. We have peace knowing that no matter how long the journey it will come together and Miah will be home with us some day soon.

Working out the bugs

I am still working out all the bugs.

Well I have moved and since your looking at this page you already know that! Thank you for stopping by and I hope to see a comment or two from you. I wanted to also share this snap shot of James. He came running in the house not to long ago with a huge smile on his face and when I asked him what he was doing he said "I am digging to China." Needless to say my jaw hit the ground, where did he hear that from? To be honest I do not think he did hear it any where I think he was just being James and James would dig to China.... He loves dirt! So I asked him if I could come too and he told me he did not know if I would fit since he had only planed on bringing Miah home through the hole. AWWWW got to love that. Well I asked to see his hole and here is the results...
He dug all day in the dirt as happy as could be.

James and I as well as Randy are overjoyed with the fact that we have made it through the review room and are now waiting to be matched with our Miah!!! It is a weight lifted off our shoulders now that we know everything was in order and up to CCAA standards. Now how much longer will we wait? That is the million dollar question, and one that only time can answer. We are holding on to hope that it will be the 12 month mark and with our 9/12 LID that would make it Sept. Only five months away. Oh please Oh Please Oh Please!!! For now we will celebrate this mile stone it has been a while since we had good news to be happy about.