Tuesday, September 12, 2006
One Year LID
Well in the beginning I never thought I would even see a one year mark of our LID without our daughter in hand. As time went by that became more and more of a reality and eventually I began to pray that we would only get so far as this one year mark. Well we are here and still have no clue as to when we will see our daughters face. It could be two months or it could be six. This journey has been good and it has been bad, it has been easy and it has been hard however I am grateful that we have made it this far at least this is one year I will never haft to wait again and with any luck this time next year this wait will be a distant memory and we will look back and say how worth it she is.I think the bad and hard things are the not knowing. Not knowing when and how many referrals are coming, not knowing it there will be a new set of rules set in place, or knowing if they will grandfather us in if there are. Not knowing when Miah may be born or when I can guess that she has been. That and so many more unknowns that nothing but a referral and then our daughter in arms can answer.The good and the easy have been falling in love with our daughter even without seeing her face. Setting up a place for her in our home and lives. Making a choice that no matter what we would wait for her and cherish her when we a finally given the chance. Buying all the cute clothes and holding them close wondering how she will feel in my arms and sending prayers her way.I am grateful that I have had my James to help ease the wait because I know what it is to be childless for many years and yearn for a child with none to hold. He has been as always my little prince charming and as best he could eased some of the pain of this wait. I am blessed with Randy as well as he has been a rock and helped me to keep my sanity when days like the one with only five referral days came in. Reminding me that it is just a matter of time and then we will have the child meant for us. Letting me cry but not wallow in self pity, and holding me.Don't get me wrong waiting is not the end of the world and I know that well as I have waited for a child only to hold her and lose her, that is as close to the end as I want to come. Waiting for Miah is just hard HARD.One year thank goodness we have come this far.... Almost there baby girl we are coming and we love you. Hold on!