9/11

Five years ago today I woke up to the sweet sound of my two month old son needing some attention. I made him a bottle, feed him and then lay him down on a soft blanket in the floor for some stimulation about two feet from our TV and I lay down beside him and turned it on to hear the news and weather report for the day. Never in a million years did I expect what came next. I thought I was watching a movie clip at first and then after they showed the clip of the first plane hitting the twin towers for the third or fourth time it hit me that this was real. Oh My God, I looked at James and just wanted to pick him up and hide, but I could not tear my gaze away from the news and then it happened. I watched in horror as a second plane hit, there was no turning away of the camera or going off air no I saw it all from the safety of my living room and I still felt the jolt of that impact as if I were standing there. I called Randy right away and told him about the second plane and he was stunned yelling at his co workers to turn on the new online right now, then suddenly as I am on the phone I hear a reporter stating that the pentagon has been hit..... I tell Randy this and again stunned silence, I think we just sat on the phone in silence for a while not know what to say or to do next. What was happening.... By this time there was no question that we were under attack of some kind but why and who and how were questions that would take time to answer. I stayed glued to the TV all day holding James and crying, praying and being afraid....Fear like I had never known, I mean this is America and you just don't mess with her.
Today James is five and thriving and our country has rallied together and come back from the terrible tragedy but it is not the same as before. It will never be the same,
To all who lost a loved one in this horrible event my heart and prayers go out to you may you find peace today and every day.
To our country may we continue to heal and grow, let us cause a better future for our children and a safe one at that.