Friday, June 29, 2007

Issues

She is cute, lovable, and cuddly.... BUT.... We are having a few issues! Miah is hitting James, and yelling at him. Yep this little doll is giving her big brother one heck of a time and it has just been getting worse. James is trying so hard to be a good boy with her and some times it works but lately Miah seems to resist anything James does or she will flat out hit him. Heaven forbid he sit in my lap or get any type of affection from me or Randy . If she sees that she literally will scream at the top of her lungs and come running to be picked up and at that point if she can pull, push , or hit James away she will. I really am not sure what to do now, we tell her no when she is hitting , remove her from the situation, or James will move over to let her up too. I find this to be a fuzzy line for what a "normal" ( Yes she is normal but her past is not) 15 month old would do. I remember James doing some of this to an extent, but Miah seems hell bent on not sharing mommy at all, as well as daddy and any thing she deems to be hers. HELP?!?
The next issue we are having is FOOD. She wants to eat non stop, and will eat anything put in front of her. If anyone else is eating after she has finished her more than ample plate she will scream for what they have as well. She can sign bite and does so with much gusto most all day. She will walk to the kitchen and sign the word over and over again. The pediatrician says to cut her off and not to allow her to over eat and I do agree with this, but at the same time I feel bad telling her no when it comes to food. I am making sure is on a schedule and that I feed her on time but to be honest no matter how diligent I am if she sees me working with food she will CRY as if the world is coming to an end until I put something in her mouth. I know this will all work out but right now I feel very frustrated with it. I mean the child will literally sign for food as soon as I pick her up in the morning, as if she is starving. I hate thinking she feels deprived of anything, so how do I get through this and find a balance.
My Last issue for the day.... On the move and into everything!!!! Ok I know that is just part of having a toddler. Miah is BUSY, so different from James type of busy. I have nick named my Miah Elisabeth ...Busy Lizzy! I love this issue but boy am I tired at the end of the day!
For the most part our transition to being a family of four has been remarkably easy, much more so than what I prepared for, which I am glad I did prepare. However I am learning to watch for subtle behavior that is related to her past experience and how to deal with these issues in a non threatening way to her, as they hold some kind of comfort for her. When she acts in these ways she is saying she wants the control here, and needs it to feel safe. I want to teach her to trust me to see to all her needs with out her demanding I do so, I want her to feel safe. It will come, but it takes time.

5 comments:

Paul & Robyn: said...

Stacey,
Even though I can't offer advice (no experience there yet) I can lend an ear. Please know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Kelley said...

Oh no, I cannot believe that all that cuteness can scream, cry, hit or push! [Grin...] I totally understand (we still have the territorial thing with Mia) and have a few thoughts (surprised? Not!) that I will share in an email when I have more than a minute to sit at the computer. Hang in there, mama!

becky said...

Well just know that what your going through is normal. Just stick with your routines and rules about food, hitting, etc. A lot of what your saying is age, and maybe just a little about her past. But, I believe you can make up for her past with all the love that you have been giving her.

Our Lilly is becoming mean with her brother, Ryan. She doesn't even want him to touch her. We are trying to teach her that isn't nice, even if he is annoying her. You see Ryan has Down Syndrome so they like a lot of the same things. But, sharing is not in their nature at this point, hence the fights. So I do know where your coming from. But, like I said just stick to your guns as hard as it is. It will get better as they get older.

Good Luck!

Becky Bennett mom to 4 homegrown boys and 1 Chinese princess

Christie said...

Girl - YIKES!!!! Hang in there - wish I could offer some sacred advice here, but I have none to give!

Double Yikes!

Krista said...

We are having the same problem with hitting and scratching with Lily.
Only she hits and scratches our 2nd oldest. She never lays a hand/claw on our oldest daughter. When she wants something and knows I will say "no", she runs to her oldest sister, but lookout if I am giving the 2nd oldest any attention, she run over and hit her!
Sigh....I just hope this stage will be over soon!
Krista